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Trying to get today's republicans to accept basic facts is like trying to get your dog to take a pill. you have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of baloney, hold their snouts shut and stroke their throats. and even then, just when you think they've swallowed it, they spit it out on the linoleum.
-Bill Maher
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Trying To Get Today's Republicans To Accept

Bill Maher
Trying to get today's republicans to accept basic facts is like trying to get your dog to take a pill. you have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of baloney, hold their snouts shut and stroke their throats. and even then, just when you think they've swallowed it, they spit it out on the linoleum.
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Dog Thinking Trying

More From Bill Maher

If a dog is biting a black man, the black man should kill the dog, whether the dog is a police dog or a hound dog or any kind of dog. if a dog is fixed on a black man when that black man is doing nothing but trying to take advantage of what the government says is supposed to be his, then that black man should kill that dog or any two-legged dog who sets the dog on him.
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These are all cases of proved or presumptive baloney. a deception arises, sometimes innocently but collaboratively, sometimes with cynical premeditation. usually the victim is caught up in a powerful emotion -- wonder, fear, greed, grief. credulous acceptance of baloney can cost you money; that's what p. t. barnum meant when he said, 'there's a sucker born every minute.' but it can be much more dangerous than that, and when governments and societies lose the capacity for critical thinking, the results can be catastrophic -- however sympathetic we may be to those who have bought the baloney.
Powerful Grief Acceptance
I had to persuade a dog to swallow a pill. i twittered for advice and i got suggestion after suggestion. most of them didn't work. 'put the pill in the sausage.' no - that doesn't work. 'cheese.' no. then someone said: 'you wrap it in butter and it will slide down.' i tried it and it worked! and i'd learnt how to give a pill to a dog through the magic of twitter.
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Facts are neutral until human beings add their own meaning to those facts. people make their decisions based on what the facts mean to them, not on the facts themselves. the meaning they add to facts depends on their current story … facts are not terribly useful to influencing others. people don’t need new facts—they need a new story.
Mean People Decision
... hey, i didn't know you didn't like baloney." i went cold. "i don't like it. i never liked it." soda just looked at me. "you used to eat it. that's why you wouldn't eat anything while you were sick. you kept saying you didn't like baloney, no matter what it was we were trying to get you to eat." "i don't like it," i repeated.
Sick Trying Hey
In hamburg the waiters always had preludin - and various other pills, but i remember preludin because it was such a big trip - and they were all taking these pills to keep themselves awake, to work these incredible hours in this all-night place. and so the waiters, when they'd see the musicians falling over with tiredness or with drink, they'd give you the pill. you'd take the pill, you'd be talking, you'd sober up, you could work almost endlessly - until the pill wore off, then you'd have to have another.
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