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I hurt myself deeply, though at the time i had no idea how deeply. i should have learned many things from that experience, but when i look back on it, all i gained was one single, undeniable fact. that ultimately i am a person who can do evil. i never consciously tried to hurt anyone, yet good intentions notwithstanding, when necessity demanded, i could become completely self-centred, even cruel. i was the kind of person who could, using some plausible excuse, inflict on a person i cared for a wound that would never heal.
-Haruki Murakami
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I Hurt Myself Deeply, Though At The

Haruki Murakami
I hurt myself deeply, though at the time i had no idea how deeply. i should have learned many things from that experience, but when i look back on it, all i gained was one single, undeniable fact. that ultimately i am a person who can do evil. i never consciously tried to hurt anyone, yet good intentions notwithstanding, when necessity demanded, i could become completely self-centred, even cruel. i was the kind of person who could, using some plausible excuse, inflict on a person i cared for a wound that would never heal.
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When one has once accepted and absorbed evil, it no longer demands the unfitness of the means. the ulterior motives with which youabsorb and assimilate evil are not your own but those of evil.... evil is whatever distracts. evil knows of the good, but good does not know of evil. knowledge of oneself is something only evil has. one means that evil has is the dialogue.... one cannot pay evil in installments--and one always keeps on trying to.
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There's always the same amount of good luck and bad luck in the world. if one person doesn't get the bad luck, somebody else will have to get it in their place. there's always the same amount of good and evil, too. we can't eradicate evil, we can only evict it, force it to move across town. and when evil moves, some good always goes with it. but we can never alter the ratio of good to evil. all we can do is keep things stirred up so neither good nor evil solidifies. that's when things get scary. life is like a stew, you have to stir it frequently, or all the scum rises to the top.
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