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I hate turkeys. if you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. there's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'
-Mitch Hedberg
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I Hate Turkeys. If You Stand In

Mitch Hedberg
I hate turkeys. if you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. there's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'
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Thanksgiving Being Yourself Fun

More From Mitch Hedberg

I hate turkeys. if you go to the grocery store, you start to get mad at turkeys. you see turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. somebody just needs to tell the turkeys, "man, just be yourselves!" i already like you, little fella. i used to draw you. if you had a couple of fingers missing, you would draw a really messed-up turkey. that turkey was in an accident!
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Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? who's that for? 'i like my bologna like a martini. with an olive.' 'i'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
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