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List of Evan Esar Quotes

Explore our hand-picked selection of 209 inspiring quotes by Evan Esar.

About Evan Esar

  • Born: 1899
  • Died: 1995
  • Occupation: American Humorist
    • Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
    Divorce Keys Wedlock
    Some people worry because they are in debt; others, because they can't even get in.
    People Worry Debt
    Las vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.
    Two Vegas Income
    Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.
    Teaching Mind Intellectual
    A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.
    Teaching Dumb Numb
    The state of the union largely depends on the state of the unions.
    Unions States Depends
    A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
    Husband May Never Forget
    The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
    Amputation Way Necks
    There is nothing more dignified than a corpse.
    Dignity Corpses
    Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
    Men Trying Heredity
    Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
    Flower Charm Perfume
    Many an actor does the stage more ham than good.
    Doe Actors Ham
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