Su Min: The year China’s famous road-tripping ‘auntie’ found freedom

Sixty-year-old Chinese language grandmother Su Min had no intention of changing into a feminist icon.

She was solely making an attempt to flee her abusive husband when she hit the highway in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a rooftop tent and her pension.

“I felt like I might lastly catch my breath,” she says, recalling the second she drove away from her outdated life. “I felt like I might survive and discover a lifestyle that I wished.”

Over the subsequent 4 years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries she shared of her adventures, whereas detailing a long time of ache, earned her hundreds of thousands of cheerleaders on-line. They known as her the “road-tripping auntie” as she inadvertently changed into a hero for girls who felt trapped in their very own lives.

Her story is now a success movie that was launched in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and he or she made it to the PJDM’s checklist of 100 inspiring and influential girls of 2024.

It was a yr of massive moments, but when she needed to describe what 2024 meant to her in a single phrase, she says that phrase can be “freedom”.

As quickly as Su Min began driving, she felt freer, she advised the PJDM over the cellphone from Shenyang – simply earlier than she headed south for winter in her new SUV with a caravan.

Nevertheless it wasn’t till 2024, when she lastly filed for divorce, that she skilled “one other sort of freedom”.

It took some time to get there: it is a difficult course of in China and her husband refused to divorce her till she agreed to pay him. They settled on 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400) however she remains to be ready for the divorce certificates to return via.

However she is resolute that she does not wish to look again: “I am saying goodbye to him.”

In her new life on the highway, Su Min’s responsibility is to herself.

Her movies principally characteristic solely her. Though she drives alone, she by no means appears lonely. She chats along with her followers as she movies her journey, sharing what she has been cooking, how she spent the day prior to this and the place she’s going subsequent.

Her viewers travels along with her to locations they by no means knew they might lengthy for – Xinjiang’s snow-capped mountains, Yunnan’s historic river cities, glowing blue lakes, huge grasslands, limitless deserts.

They applaud her bravery and envy the liberty she has embraced. They’d hardly ever heard such a uncooked first-hand account concerning the actuality of life as a “Chinese language auntie”.

“You are so courageous! You selected to interrupt free,” wrote one follower, whereas one other urged her to “reside the remainder of your life nicely for your self!”. One girl sought recommendation as a result of she too “desires of driving alone” and an awe-struck follower mentioned: “Mother, have a look at her! After I become old, I will reside a vibrant life like hers if I do not get married!”

For some, the takeaways are extra pragmatic but inspiring: “After watching your movies, I’ve realized this: as girls, we should personal our own residence, domesticate friendships far and large, work laborious to be financially unbiased, and spend money on unemployment insurance coverage!”

By way of all of it, Su Min processes her personal previous. A stray cat she encounters on the highway reminds her of herself, each of them having “weathered the wind and rain for years however nonetheless managing to like this world that dusts our faces”. A go to to the market, the place she smells chili peppers, evokes “the scent of freedom” as a result of all through her marriage spicy meals was forbidden by her husband who did not prefer it.

For years Su Min had been the dutiful daughter, spouse and mom – whilst her husband repeatedly struck her.

“I used to be a standard girl and I wished to remain in my marriage for all times,” she says. “However finally I noticed that I received nothing in return for all my vitality and energy – solely beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting.”

Her husband, Du Zhoucheng, has admitted to hitting her. “It is my mistake that I beat you,” he mentioned in a video she not too long ago shared on Douyin, TikTok’s China platform.

A highschool graduate, he had a authorities job within the water sources ministry for 40 years earlier than retiring, in line with native media stories. He advised an outlet in 2022 that he beat his spouse as a result of she “talked again” and that it was “an bizarre factor”: “In a household, how can there not be some bangs and crashes?”

Su Min married Du Zhoucheng “actually to keep away from my father’s management, and to keep away from the entire household”.

She was born and raised in Tibet till 1982, when her household moved to Henan, a bustling province within the valley alongside the Yellow River. She had simply completed highschool and located work in a fertiliser manufacturing unit, the place most of her feminine colleagues, together with these youthful than 20, already had husbands.

Her marriage was organized by a matchmaker, which was widespread on the time. She had spent a lot of her life cooking for and taking care of her father and three youthful brothers. “I wished to alter my life,” she says.

The couple met solely twice earlier than the marriage. She wasn’t searching for love, however she hoped that love would develop as soon as they married.

Su Min didn’t discover love. However she did have a daughter, and that’s one motive she satisfied herself she wanted to endure the abuse.

“We’re at all times so afraid of being ridiculed and blamed if we divorce, so all of us select to endure, however in reality, this type of endurance will not be proper,” she says. “I later realized that, in reality, it will possibly have a substantial influence on kids. The kid actually does not need you to endure, they need you to face up bravely and provides them a harmonious dwelling.”

She considered leaving her husband after her daughter received married, however quickly she grew to become a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and as soon as once more responsibility known as. She felt she wanted to assist look after them, though by now she had been recognized with despair.

“I felt that if I did not go away, I’d get sicker,” she says. She promised her daughter she would look after the 2 boys till they went to kindergarten, after which she would depart.

The spark of inspiration for her escape got here in 2019 whereas flicking via social media. She discovered a video about somebody travelling whereas residing of their van. This was it, she thought to herself. This was her method out.

Even the pandemic didn’t cease her. In September 2020, she drove away from her marital dwelling in Zhengzhou and he or she barely appeared again as she made her method via 20 Chinese language provinces and greater than 400 cities.

It is a determination that has actually resonated with girls in China. To her hundreds of thousands of followers, Su Min presents consolation and hope. “We girls usually are not simply somebody’s spouse or mom… Let’s reside for ourselves!” wrote one follower.

A lot of them are moms who share their very own struggles. They inform her that they too really feel trapped in suffocating marriages – some say her tales have impressed them to stroll out of abusive relationships.

“You’re a hero to 1000’s of girls and lots of now see the opportunity of a greater life due to you,” reads one of many high feedback on considered one of her most-watched movies.

“After I flip 60, I hope I will be as free as you,” one other remark says.

A 3rd girl asks: “Auntie Su, can I journey with you? I will cowl all of the bills. I simply wish to make a journey with you. I really feel so trapped and depressed in my present life.”

“Can you might have the lifetime of your desires?” Su Min contemplated over the decision. “I wish to let you know that regardless of how outdated you might be, so long as you’re employed laborious, you’ll positively discover your reply. Similar to me, regardless that I am 60 now, I discovered what I used to be searching for.”

She admits it wasn’t simple and he or she needed to reside frugally on her pension. She thought the video blogs would possibly assist elevate some cash – she had no thought they might go viral.

She talks about what she’s realized over time and her newest problem – finalising the divorce.

“I have not received my divorce certificates but, as a result of the legislation has a cooling-off interval and we at the moment are in that interval.”

One in every of her followers wrote that the cash she paid her husband was “price each penny”, including: “Now it is your flip to see the world and reside a vibrant, unrestrained life. Congratulations, Auntie – here is to a vibrant and fulfilling future!”

She says it is laborious to break up as a result of “a lot of our legal guidelines in China are to guard the household. Ladies usually dare not divorce due to household disharmony”.

At first, she thought that Du Zhoucheng’s behaviour would possibly enhance with time and distance, however she mentioned he nonetheless threw “pots and pans” at her on her return.

He has solely known as her twice in the previous few years – as soon as as a result of her freeway entry card was tied to his bank card and he wished her to return 81 yuan (£0.90). She says she hasn’t used that card since then.

Undeterred by the delay in securing a divorce, Su Min retains planning extra journeys and hopes to in the future journey overseas.

She’s nervous about overcoming language obstacles, however is assured her story will resonate all over the world – because it has in China.

“Though girls in each nation are completely different, I wish to say that it doesn’t matter what setting you might be in, you have to be good to your self. Be taught to like your self, as a result of solely while you love your self can the world be stuffed with sunshine.”

Extra reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore