The West Finish is awash with films-turned-musicals, with the outcomes starting from the trendy (Dr Strangelove, Stranger Issues, My Neighbour Totoro) to the irredeemably naff (Fairly Lady, we’re taking a look at you). You’d hope that enlisting Elton John to put in writing the songs would assure any musical entry into the previous class however, alas, The Satan Wears Prada is really diabolical.

It’s not the fault of star Vanessa Williams, who turns in an honest efficiency as fictional journal editor Miranda Priestly – appearing with a subtlety that her fearsome red-and-black costumes lack. As an alternative, it’s a results of an absence of creativeness from the entire writing group, who cling to the 2006 movie’s script like a millennial clings to stretch denim denims (they’re extra comfortable, OK?). Director and choreographer Jerry Mitchell’s manufacturing feels much less like an ironic touch upon the Noughties, than it does a time capsule from again then – albeit one the place groundwater has seeped in and made all the things a bit limp and soggy.

The story’s your traditional “bizarre woman makes it huge and forgets what actually issues” narrative, with aspiring journalist Andy (Georgie Buckland) getting sucked into the world of vampiric boss Priestly. The place Williams is all demure self-possession, Buckland brings a powerful however usually grating power to the function of her previously frumpy assistant; her voice is so punchy it threatens to knock out the entrance row. As a pair, they don’t have a lot chemistry – nor do Andy and her boyfriend Nate. Within the movie, he’s an underwritten comfortable boy who’s unimpressed by his girlfriend’s profession ambitions. Right here, extra writing and thought have gone into his character – too unhealthy none of it is smart. As Nate, floppy-haired Rhys Whitfield gamely powers his manner by love music – “I solely need you in your physique” is among the catchiest numbers on Elton John’s rating – however it feels prefer it was written for a special present, on condition that this charmer purports to choose his girlfriend when she’s carrying shapeless skirts and gnome sneakers.

Tim Hatley’s set design frames the stage with arches of neon tubing that flash throughout John’s surprisingly unmemorable, generically jazzy musical numbers; maybe to distract from Mitchell’s choreography, which principally entails the refrain pointing in several instructions, like air hostesses doing a security briefing or the Spice Ladies on an off day. In contrast to Victoria Beckham, this musical theatre-trained solid is unquestionably able to extra.

There are moments when the entire manufacturing pulls collectively to create one thing resembling the thrill, slickness and glamour of the style world. The primary act closes on a model of the Met Gala that’s received a compelling darkish glitter to it, with costume designer Gregg Barnes dressing ornate creatures that shine out of the gloom like cockroaches. When the sound design permits itself to undertake the attribute pounding digital soundtrack of the Noughties catwalk, stomping like a mannequin’s spike-heeled stiletto, it briefly makes the period’s tradition appear thrilling and harmful once more. However whereas a brand new technology is obsessive about Y2K model, this manufacturing showcases its ugly tail-end moderately than its heyday, with enterprise informal silhouettes and fussy tailor-made attire that really feel extra suited to a House Counties bridesmaid line-up than a style journal.

The Satan Wears Prada film was fascinating as a result of it blew an unique, secretive world extensive open. It let bizarre ladies peer into the lives of the journal editors who instructed them they had been too fats, too mundane, too frumpy to be a part of their world, all of the whereas promoting it to them as a part of a shiny bundle on each newsstand. This musical feels squarely aimed on the mass market, and it’s neither aspirational nor memorable sufficient to flee the sale rack.

‘The Satan Wears Prada’ is on at London’s Dominion Theatre till 31 Might 2025