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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
-W. C. Fields
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The Only Thing A Lawyer Won't Question

W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Mom Mother Lawyer

More From W. C. Fields

Wishing won't make it so hoping won't do it, praying won't do it religion won't do it, philosophy won't do it the supreme court won't do it, the president and the congress won't do it the un won't do it, the h-bomb won't do it, the sun and the moon won't do it and god won't do it, and i certainly won't do it that leaves you, you'll have to do it
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The minute you read something and you can't understand it, you can be sure it was written by a lawyer. then, if you give it to another lawyer to read and he don't know just what it means, then you can be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. if it's in a few words and is plain, and understandable only one way, it was written by a non-lawyer.
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To question the legitimacy of the next united states president, you know, and you're worried about a tweet that says, hey, why don't you get back to work instead of questioning my legitimacy? too bad.
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India was the motherland of our race, and sanskrit the mother of europe's languages: she was the mother of our philosophy; mother, through the arabs, of much of our mathematics; mother, through the buddha, of the ideals embodied in christianity; mother, through the village community, of self-government and democracy. mother india is in many ways the mother of us all.
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I wanted to be a lawyer. i realized i don't really want to be a lawyer. i want to play a lawyer. thank god i figured that out.
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I enjoyed [playing lawyer in from the hip] as an ode to my dad. my dad went to harvard and harvard law school, so he had some friends that practiced in boston. so, there was a big law firm that he hooked me up with the senior partner, then the senior partner hooked me up with a young lawyer who worked in the firm. and the young lawyer was married to a public defender. so i would hang out with them, and i could see both sides of it, those that are corporate attorneys and those that help the poor and the disenfranchised.
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