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The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, and large ornamental vases, too large to hold flowers and too small to hold spies.
-Daniel Handler
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The Hallway Was Lined With Numbered Doors,

Daniel Handler
The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, and large ornamental vases, too large to hold flowers and too small to hold spies.
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Flower Doors Numbers

More From Daniel Handler

I can draw pencil lines to show something is moving, but if i'm writing, i struggle with how to write it. the boy ran down the hallway? the boy ran quickly down the hallway? the boy ran down the marble hallway? i agonize over the words. so my editor works very hard. i'm lucky to have her.
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Clothing sizes are weird, they go: small, medium, large and then extra large, extra extra large, extra extra extra large. something happened at large, they just gave up. they were like, 'i'm not doing any more adjectives; you just keep putting extras on there.' we could do better than that: small, medium, large, whoa, easy, slow down, stop it, interesting, american.
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There were doors that looked like large keyholes, others that resembled the entrances to caves, there were golden doors, some were padded and some were studded with nails, some were paper-thin and others as thick as the doors of treasure houses; there was one that looked like a giant's mouth and another that had to be opened like a drawbridge, one that suggested a big ear and one that was made of gingerbread, one that was shaped like an oven door, and one that had to be unbuttoned.
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The primordial blessing, 'increase and multiply', has suddenly become a hemorrhage of terror. we are numbered in billions, and massed together, marshalled, numbered, marched here and there, taxed, drilled, armed, worked to the point of insensibility, dazed by information, drugged by entertainment, surfeited with everything, nauseated with the human race and with ourselves, nauseated with life.
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Brave old-flowers! wall-flowers, gilly flowers, stocks! for even as the field-flowers, from which a trifle, a ray of beauty, a drop of perfume, divides them, they have charming names, the softest in the language; and each of them, like tiny, art-less ex-votos, or like medals bestowed by the gratitude of men, proudly bears three or four.
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It is quiet here and restful and the air is delicious. there are gardens everywhere and police spies lie in the bushes. there are nightingales in every garden, but police spies only in mine, i think. they sit under my windows in the darkness of the night and try to get a glimpse of how i spread sedition in russia.
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