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Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. but the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
-Terry Pratchett
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Some Pirates Achieved Immortality By Great Deeds

Terry Pratchett
Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. but the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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Long Ago Pirate Dying

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Pirate captain jim "walk the plank," says pirate jim "but captain jim, i cannot swim." "then you must steer us through the gale." "but captain jim, i cannot sail." "then down with the galley slaves you go." "but captain jim, i cannot row." "then you must be the pirate's clerk." "but captain jim, i cannot work.
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Cruelty, very far from being a vice, is the first sentiment nature injects in us all. the infant breaks his toy, bites his nurse's breast, strangles his canary long before he is able to reason; cruelty is stamped in animals, in whom, as i think i have said, nature's laws are more emphatically to be read than in ourselves; cruelty exists amongst savages, so much nearer to nature than civilized men are; absurd then to maintain cruelty is a consequence of depravity. . . . cruelty is simply the energy in a man civilization has not yet altogether corrupted: therefore it is a virtue, not a vice.
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With a decrease in the number of pirates, there has been an increase in global warming over the same period. therefore, global warming is caused by a lack of pirates. even more compelling: somalia has the highest number of pirates and the lowest carbon emissions of any country. coincidence?
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What happen to the pirates we are supposed to see? then we go down the chutes, and it's where the pirates were. but they're all gone. there is nothing but skeletons down here!
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What is a country? a country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. englishmen are dying for england, americans are dying for america, germans are dying for germany, russians are dying for russia. there are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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