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Our instinct as parents is to order our kids around — it's easier, and frankly, we're usually right. [but] reverse the waterfall as much as possible. enlist the children in their own upbringing.
-Bruce Feiler
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Our Instinct As Parents Is To Order

Bruce Feiler
Our instinct as parents is to order our kids around — it's easier, and frankly, we're usually right. [but] reverse the waterfall as much as possible. enlist the children in their own upbringing.
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Topic
Children Kids Order

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Children grow rapidly, forget the centuries-long embrace from their parents, which to them lasted but seconds. children become adults, live far from their parents, live their own houses, learn ways of their own, suffer pain, grow old. children curse their parents for their wrinkled skin and hoarse voices. those now old children also want to stop time, but at another time. they want to freeze their own children at the center of time.
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Another way to look at meditation is to view thinking itself as a waterfall, a cascading of thought. in cultivating mindfulness, we are going beyond or behind our thinking, much the way you might find a vantage point in a cave or depression in the rock behind a waterfall. we still see and hear the water, but we are out of the torrent.
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Children see in their parents the past, their parents see in them the future; and if we find more love in the parents for their children than in children for their parents, this is sad but natural. who does not entertain his hopes more than his recollections.
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A cheery relaxation is man's natural state, just as nature itself is relaxed. a waterfall is concerned only with being itself, not with doing something it considers waterfall-like.
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I get a lot of parents coming up to me, telling me they are grooming their kids to be professional athletes. i'm really against that. i think it's a great life, and yeah, you can lead them in that direction. i think a lot of parents live their lives through the kids. because they didn't make it, they want their kids to make it. it puts a lot of undue pressure on the kids.
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For example, parents who talk a lot to their children have kids with better language skills, parents who spank have children who grow up to be violent, parents who are neither too authoritarian or too lenient have children who are well-adjusted, and so on.
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