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Obviously, as an adult i realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
-Tina Fey
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Obviously, As An Adult I Realize This

Tina Fey
Obviously, as an adult i realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
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Funny Girl Witty

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In ancient times, people weren't just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, female/female. in other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much a thought. but then god took a knife and cut everybody in half, right down the middle. so after that the world was divided just into male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing other half.
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When our embassy is attacked in benghazi by terrorists and there is no response, you get more bad behavior. when russia invades ukraine and there is no response, you get more bad behavior. when syria crosses the red line and there is no response, you get more bad behavior. when iran launches tests of ballistic missiles and there is no response, you get more bad behavior. when north korea attacks sony pictures and there is no response, you get more bad behavior. in other words, mrs. clinton, you cannot lead from behind. we must respond when we are attacked or provoked.
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I think of the chimp, the one with the talking hands. in the course of the experiment, that chimp had a baby. imagine how her trainers must have thrilled when the mother, without prompting, began to sign her newborn. baby, drink milk. baby, play ball. and when the baby died, the mother stood over the body, her wrinkled hands moving with animal grace, forming again and again the words: baby, come hug, baby come hug, fluent now in the language of grief.
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Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.
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I think comedy directors tend to feel a need to justify the bad behavior, and i just never think that. i like bad behavior, i've always liked bad behavior, i'm a fan of bad behavior, and i don't think you have to justify bad behavior.
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You could go church and you could describe your worst behavior, your worst self, and despite your worst behavior you would be forgiven and then redeemed and then accepted back into the community through communion. so you didn't have to carry this burden your entire life. once a week you went someplace you went someplace where you could really look terrible and be loved despite how terrible you were.
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