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Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. once when i didn't do this i sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.
-Phyllis Diller
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Keep At Least One Window Pane Clean

Phyllis Diller
Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. once when i didn't do this i sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.
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Kids Window Panes Weather

More From Phyllis Diller

If there's a national-team player, he has to do extra work. he has to do extra weeks, and he can't go on vacation even if he says: 'well, but i'm supposed now to have six weeks off.' if he comes and says that, then i give him a hug and say: 'have fun the six weeks, but don't come back here.'
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I really like umbrellas. it's like, i have a roof! i carry it with me! umbrellas always amuse me.
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Weather is real. it is absolutely real: when it rains, it rains – you get wet, there is no question about it. it is also true about weather that you can’t control it; you can’t say if i wish hard enough it won’t rain. it is equally true that if the weather is bad one day it will get better and what i had to learn was to treat my moods like the weather.
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I fast every sunday. i don’t eat anything. just juices. […] it flushes out the system, cleans out the colon. i think that’s great. to really make it work, you have to do it properly. that’s the sewer valve of the system. you have to keep that clean like you clean the outside of your body. all these impurities come out of your system because you’re not clean inside. it comes out in pimples or disease or through big pores. toxins trying to get out of your system. people should try to keep themselves clean.
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How this feels is i'm just another task in god's daily planner: the renaissance pencilled in for right after the dark ages. the information age is scheduled immediately after the industrial revolution. then the post-modern era, then the four horsemen of the apocalypse. famine. check. pestilence. check. war. check. death. check. and between the big events, the earthquakes and tidal waves, god's got me squeezed in for a cameo appearance. then maybe in thirty years, or maybe next year, god's daily planner has me finished.
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But you lied again. now you get to watch her leave out the window. guess that's why they call it 'window pane.
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And indeed there will be time for the yellow smoke that slides along the street rubbing its back upon the window-panes; there will be time , there will be time to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet; there will be time to murder and create, and time for all the works and days of hands that lift and drop a question on your plate; time for you and time for me, and time yet for a hundred indecisions, and for a hundred visions and revisions, before the taking of toast and tea.
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