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It's all well and good saying you avoid pain by avoiding relationships, but what about the wonderful things you're avoiding as well? what about the joy and the intimacy and the trust that come with finding someone you love?
-Jane Green
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It's All Well And Good Saying You

Jane Green
It's all well and good saying you avoid pain by avoiding relationships, but what about the wonderful things you're avoiding as well? what about the joy and the intimacy and the trust that come with finding someone you love?
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Pain Joy Someone You Love

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Consciousness-raising is at the very least supposed to bring about an intimacy, but what it seems instead to bring about are the trappings of intimacy, the illusion of intimacy, a semblance of intimacy.
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Grief does not end and love does not die and nothing fills its graven place. with grace, pain is transmuted into the gold of wisdom and compassion and the lesser coin of muted sadness and resignation; but something leaden of it remains, to become the kernel arond which more pain accretes (a black pearl): one pain becomes every other pain ... unless one strips away, one by one, the layers of pain to get to the heart of the pain - and this causes more pain, pain so intense as to feel like evisceration.
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The only way to be a champion is by going through these forced reps and the torture and pain. that's way i call it the torture routine. because it's like forced torture. torturing my body. what helps me is to think of this pain as pleasure. pain makes me grow. growing is what i want. therefore, for me pain is pleasure. and so when i am experiencing pain i'm in heaven. it's great. people suggest this is masochistic. but they're wrong. i like pain for a particular reason. i don't like needle's stuck in my arm. but i do like the pain that is necessary to be a champion.
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Facing the darkness, admitting the pain, allowing the pain to be pain, is never easy. this is why courage - big-heartedness - is the most essential virtue on the spiritual journey. but if we fail to let pain be pain - and our entire patriarchal culture refuses to let this happen - then pain will haunt us in nightmarish ways. we will become pain's victims instead of the healers we might become.
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Love flies, runs, leaps for joy; it is free and unrestrained. love gives all for all, resting in one who is highest above all things, from whom every good flows and proceeds. love does not regard the gifts, but turns to the giver of all good gifts. love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds. love feels no burden, takes no account of toil, attempts things beyond its strength; love sees nothing as impossible, for it feels able to achieve all things. love therefore does great things; it is strange and effective; while he who lacks love faints and fails.
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How bitterly glad i am to see you. you bring joy and pain in equal measure. joy because you are with me, but pain because it won't be for long. what do you know about the sea? nothing. what do i know about the sea? nothing. without a driver this bus is lost. our lives are over. come aboard if your destination is oblivion-- it should be our next stop. we can sit together. you can have the window seat, if you want. but it's a sad view. oh enough of this disembling. let me say plainly: i love you, i love you, i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you. not the spiders, please.
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