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I tried to freshen up a room, so i held a certs in front of a fan.
-Mitch Hedberg
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I Tried To Freshen Up A Room,

Mitch Hedberg
I tried to freshen up a room, so i held a certs in front of a fan.
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Funny Humor Fans

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I've tried to be a better person... i've tried, and tried and tried! you know how hard i've tried! tell me how i've tried..." "nice try... five cents, please!
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What i see is trying to make sure that everybody thinks you have more than what you actually have. what’s the point if you actually don’t have it? if you don’t have it, then you don’t have it. have what you have. enjoy that . . . the craft is everything. don’t be afraid of not being the wealthiest person in the room. be the smartest person in the room. be the slickest person in the room. be the most creative person in the room. be the most entertaining person in the room. just be in the room.
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I was a yankee fan in brooklyn because my father was a yankee fan. and my father was required to live in brooklyn with my mothers family, who were all dodger fans. so he was surrounded by dodger fans. he was a yankee fan. so his revenge was to make me a yankee fan.
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I have an oscillating fan at my house. it goes back and forth. it looks like the fan is saying "no." so i like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to! do you keep my hair in place? do you keep my documents in order? do you have 3 settings? liar! my fan lied to me. now i will pull the pin up. now you're not saying anything!
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I'm a big fan of gospel music, and you cannot be a fan of rock and roll, you cannot be a fan of country western music, and you can't really be a fan of jazz without listening to a lot of music that's religious.
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It's always been strange to me that someone can say they're a vampire fan. i'm not a non-fan, but it's such an unusual thing to be a fan of. that's like saying, "i love zombie movies! i just love 'em! they're my favorite!" that's more of a psychological problem than being an actual fan.
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Actually, 3d is really the most normal thing because it's how those of us with two eyes usually see the world. tvs are the unusual things in 2d!
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