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I like cottage cheese. that's why i want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. how about studio apartment cheese? tent cheese? mobile home cheese? do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

-Mitch Hedberg

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I Like Cottage Cheese. That's Why I

Mitch Hedberg

I like cottage cheese. that's why i want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. how about studio apartment cheese? tent cheese? mobile home cheese? do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"i like cottage cheese. that&#039;s why i want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. how about studio apartment cheese? tent cheese? mobile home cheese? do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Mitch Hedberg</footer>
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Funny Home Humor

More From Mitch Hedberg

Turn right up ahead," he directed. "it'll take us directly to my cottage." she did as he asked. "does your cottage have a name?" "my cottage." "i might have known," she muttered. he smirked. quite a feat, in her opinion, since he looked sick as a dog. "i'm not kidding," he said. sure enough, in another minute they pulled up in front of an elegant country house, complete with a small, unobtrusive sign in front reading, my cottage

Those powers that control the tent are not threatened at all by any activity that you engage in, in the shadows, that's not moving toward the tent. and i am rather convinced that we have a generation that is so preoccupied with life in the shadows, they never even focus on getting to the sunlight where you open up the big tent.

What is the american dream? the american dream is one big tent. one big tent. and on that big tent you have four basic promises: equal protection under the law, equal opportunity, equal access, and fair share.

There were two recording studios in bellingham. one was really expensive, a "nice studio." we were at the point where we were young and irreverent. we would scoff at the idea of a nice studio. "why would you want to go to a nice studio? oh wow, they have really expensive gear. ooh, that's really fancy. well we've got an eight-track. we've got it going on here." now that we have the resources, we're like, "oh wow, a nice studio is pretty nice! they do have nice outboards here. it's actually a pretty good place." it's funny how much changes so quickly.

I will not eat them in a house, i will not eat them with a mouse,i will not eat them in a box i will not eat them with a fox, i will not eat them here of there i will not eat them anywhere, i do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am

My whole life at a certain point was studio, hotel, stage, hotel, stage, studio, stage, hotel, studio, stage. i was expressing everything from my past, everything that i had experienced prior to that studio stage time, and it was like you have to go back to the well, in order to give someone something to drink. i felt like a cistern, dried up and like there was nothing more. and it was so beautiful.

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I could feel my body temperature - i knew i was bright red. it was so humiliating, i was so upset, and it was nothing i had planned to do. it was just one of those beautiful moments, the alchemy of acting that is so mysterious, where you sort of go, "how did that come out of me?"

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I was taught to confront things you can't avoid. death is one of those things. to live in a society where you're trying not to look at it is stupid because looking at death throws us back into life with more vigour and energy. the fact that flowers don't last for ever makes them beautiful.

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