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I equals all of the ifs added up over time. the ifs, those are the possibilities; that's infinite for all of us. every day there are just millions of them. time, that's finite for each of us; there is no question there. maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real i can emerge, depending upon those choices.

-Demetri Martin

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I Equals All Of The Ifs Added

Demetri Martin

I equals all of the ifs added up over time. the ifs, those are the possibilities; that's infinite for all of us. every day there are just millions of them. time, that's finite for each of us; there is no question there. maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real i can emerge, depending upon those choices.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"i equals all of the ifs added up over time. the ifs, those are the possibilities; that&#039;s infinite for all of us. every day there are just millions of them. time, that&#039;s finite for each of us; there is no question there. maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real i can emerge, depending upon those choices."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Demetri Martin</footer>
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Real Choices Infinite

More From Demetri Martin

Man versus woman equals fun. man versus man equals gay. woman versus woman equals awesome. man versus pillow equals crazy. pillow versus pillow equals crazy awesome - that's a real pillow fight right there. you see two pillows fighting, you know something's going down. they're designed for relaxation. if they're fighting, what hope do we have? one time i saw two geese fighting, and i was like, 'this is a pillow fight ahead of time.

All is finite in the present; and even that finite is infinite in it velocity of flight towards death. but in god there is nothing finite...upon a night of earthquake he builds a thousand years of pleasant habitations for man. upon the sorrow of an infant he raises oftentimes from human intellects glorious vintages that could not else have been.

Jimmy carter, of course, was beloved. peanut farmer. came out of nowhere, governor of georgia. normally democrats hate southern accents, 'cause southern accents equals deliverance, equals hayseed, equals idiot. but if it's one of them... but you had to look the other way with jimmy carter and then here came bill clinton later. so depending on where the southern accent's from, they'll make an exception and not be prejudicial about it. but for the most part, a southern accent may as well be a slave owner as far as democrats are concerned; they want no part of it.

The difficulties in the study of the infinite arise because we attempt, with our finite minds, to discuss the infinite, assigning to it those properties which we give to the finite and limited; but this... is wrong, for we cannot speak of infinite quantities as being the one greater or less than or equal to another.

America is god equals america equals business equals america equals god.

Maybe it’s my own fault. maybe i led you to believe it was easy when it wasn’t. maybe i made you think my highlights started at the free throw line, and not in the gym. maybe i made you think that every shot i took was a game winner. that my game was built on flash, and not fire. maybe it’s my fault that you didn’t see that failure gave me strength; that my pain was my motivation. maybe i led you to believe that basketball was a god given gift, and not something i worked for every single day of my life. maybe i destroyed the game. or maybe you’re just making excuses.

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