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I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. i understand why people like dogs, and i think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but i don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.

-Chelsea Handler

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I Don't Appreciate People Who Celebrate Their

Chelsea Handler

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. i understand why people like dogs, and i think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but i don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.

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<blockquote style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; border-left: 4px solid #8b5cf6; padding-left: 15px; margin: 20px 0; background: #f9f9f9; padding: 15px; border-radius: 4px; color: #333;">
    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"i don&#039;t appreciate people who celebrate their dog&#039;s birthdays with &quot;dog parties,&quot; and then invite their friends who don&#039;t even have dogs. i understand why people like dogs, and i think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but i don&#039;t think it&#039;s healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Chelsea Handler</footer>
    <p style="margin-top: 15px; font-size: 0.85rem;"><a href="https://pjdigitalmarketing.com/quote/i-dont-appreciate-people-who-celebrate-their-dogs-birthdays-with-dog-parties-n9gyu" style="color: #8b5cf6; text-decoration: none;">View this quote on Pjdigitalmarketing.com</a></p>
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More From Chelsea Handler

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern america's favorite pet. people like pets to possess the same qualities they do. cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. cats cannot be made to do anything useful. cats are mean for the fun of it. in fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as people that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.

If a dog is biting a black man, the black man should kill the dog, whether the dog is a police dog or a hound dog or any kind of dog. if a dog is fixed on a black man when that black man is doing nothing but trying to take advantage of what the government says is supposed to be his, then that black man should kill that dog or any two-legged dog who sets the dog on him.

Mayor de blasio has legalized ferrets. now you can legally own ferrets in new york city. i want to tell you something. if i want to see anymore beady-eyed little weasels, i'll just keep riding the subway.

But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." bad dog exists. "bad dog! bad dog! stole a biscuit, bad dog!" the dog is saying, "who are you to judge me? you human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and i stole a biscuit?! is that a crime? people of the world!" "well, if you put it that way, i think you’ve got a point. have another biscuit, sorry.

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. it's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern america's favorite poet. people like poets to possess the same qualities they do.

Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things - unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. all dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they're dreaming of biting their maker. every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a bad dog.

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