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I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
-Mitch Hedberg
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I'd Hate To Be A Giraffe With

Mitch Hedberg
I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
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Topic
Hate Animal Giraffe

More From Mitch Hedberg

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. i hate the way you drive my car. i hate it when you stare. i hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. i hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. i hate it, i hate the way you're always right. i hate it when you lie. i hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. i hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
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I know who i am. no one else knows who i am. if i was a giraffe, and someone said i was a snake, i'd think, no, actually i'm a giraffe.
Thinking Who I Am Snakes
I'm a giraffe. i even walk like a giraffe with a long neck and legs. it's a pretty dumb animal, mind you.
Animal Long Dumb
I have a toy giraffe on my bed. i've got photographs over my desk as well as a mask of a giraffe in my kitchen. i am totally hooked.
Kitchen Bed Toys
A giraffe has a black tongue twenty-seven inches long and no vocal cords. a giraffe has nothing to say. he just goes on giraffing.
Long Black Twenties
The left's propulsion is hate, and they have to have an outlet for the hate. they hate so much. they hate many elements of america. they hate people that don't think the way they do. it's not just that they disagree, they hate, and this energy requires action. people on the right, they don't hate anybody. we want everybody to get along, when you get right down to it. we're rodney king types, actually.
Kings Hate Thinking
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