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Even though i am a professional, and i know what the steps are, i don't quite know how i'm going to do them, because i haven't lived that moment yet. i always feel very insecure and i get very excited.
-Suzanne Farrell
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Even Though I Am A Professional, And

Suzanne Farrell
Even though i am a professional, and i know what the steps are, i don't quite know how i'm going to do them, because i haven't lived that moment yet. i always feel very insecure and i get very excited.
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Topic
Dance Insecure Ballet

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I didn't really feel any pressure when i've made records, i haven't as yet anyway. i feel when i'm making a record that i'm so excited about making new songs that when i'm doing demos of new songs, as soon as i make one that's really different i get really excited about the record, i don't care about the last record anymore.
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Utopia is on the horizon. i move two steps closer; it moves two steps further away. i walk another ten steps and the horizon runs ten steps further away. as much as i may walk, i'll never reach it. so what's the point of utopia? the point is this: to keep walking.
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Utopia lies at the horizon. when i draw nearer by two steps, it retreats two steps. if i proceed ten steps forward, it swiftly slips ten steps ahead. no matter how far i go, i can never reach it. what, then, is the purpose of utopia? it is to cause us to advance.
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But i'm taking small steps 'cause i don't know where i'm going i'm taking small steps and i don't know what to say. small steps, trying to pull myself together and maybe i'll discover a clue along the way!
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The reality of living by faith as though we were already dead, of living by faith in open communion with god, and then stepping back into the external world as though we are already raised from the dead, this is not once for all, it is a matter of moment-by-moment faith, and living moment by moment. this morning's faith will never do for this noon. the faith of this noon will never do for suppertime . the faith of suppertime will never do for the next morning. thank god for the reality for which we were created, a moment-by-moment communication with god himself.
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The truth is there are a million steps, and we don't even know what the steps are, and worse, at any given moment we may not be willing or even able to take them; and still worse, they are different for you and they are always changing. i have come to believe the sooner we will fall in love with the god who keeps shaking things up, keeps changing the path, keeps rocking the boat to test our faith in him, teaching us to not rely on easy answers, bullet points, magic mantras, or genies in lamps, but rather in his guidance, his existence, his mercy, and his love.
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