List of W. C. Fields Quotes

We have put together a list of some of the best Quotes that Written by W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields
Total Quotes 225
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
Comedian Can Do
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
Wells Corpses
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
Drinking House Alcohol
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called middie alley. you could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. top price-twenty-five cents.
Twenties Ceilings Relief
I'm searching for loopholes.
Loopholes
After two days in the hospital, i turn to the nurse.
Funny Health Two
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
Movie Play People
If i had my life to live over again, i'd live over a saloon.
Saloons Old Hollywood Ifs
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which i have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
Writing Scripts Found
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
Money Advice Might
Fields' reply: he'd think i was a sissy.
Drinking Thinking Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the d.t.'s. you can travel the world in a couple of hours. you see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
Couple Color World
  • Born: January 29, 1880
  • Died: December 25, 1946
  • Occupation: Comedian
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