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For many years, i struggled with how i felt about myself. i hid and harbored very self-destructive eating issues, namely anorexia, which at its worst caused me to lose half of my hair and brought my weight down dramatically.
-Renee Olstead
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For Many Years, I Struggled With How

Renee Olstead
For many years, i struggled with how i felt about myself. i hid and harbored very self-destructive eating issues, namely anorexia, which at its worst caused me to lose half of my hair and brought my weight down dramatically.
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Hair Self Years

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And dieting, i discovered, was another form of disordered eating, just as anorexia and bulimia similarly disrupt the natural order of eating. "ordered" eating is the practice of eating when you are hungry and ceasing to eat when your brain sends the signal that your stomach is full. ... all people who live their lives on a diet are suffering. if you can accept your natural body weight and not force it to beneath your body's natural, healthy weight, then you can live your life free of dieting, of restriction, of feeling guilty every time you eat a slice of your kid's birthday cake.
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I finally understood that by being on a perpetual diet, i had practiced a "disordered" form of eating my whole life. i restricted when i was hungry and in need of nutrition and binged when i was so grotesquely full i couldn't be comfortable in any position by lying down. diets that tell people what to eat or when to eat are the practices inbetween. and dieting, i discovered, was another form of disordered eating, just as anorexia and bulimia similarly disrupt the natural order of eating.
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I think anorexia is a metaphor. it is a young woman's statement that she will become what the culture asks of its women, which is that they be thin and nonthreatening. anorexia signifies that a young woman is so delicate that, like the women of china with their tiny broken feet, she needs a man to shelter and protect her from a world she cannot handle. anorexic women signal with their bodies "i will take up only a small amount of space. i won't get in the way." they signal "i won't be intimidating or threatening." (who is afraid of a seventy-pound adult?)
Men Thinking Feet
As i accepted the change of the golden hair of my childhood to the reddish-brown hair of my youth without regret, so i also accept my silver hair-and i am ready to accept the time when my hair and the rest of my clay garment returns to the dust from which it came, while my spirit goes on to freer living. it is the season for my hair to be silver, and each season has its lessons to teach. each season of life is wonderful if you have learned the lessons of the season before. it is only when you go on with lessons unlearned that you wish for a return.
Regret Dust Hair
The hardest thing was going through different stages of weight loss. at the beginning, it was easy to take off the weight with exercise and eating less but then you reach a point where 90 per cent of the weight loss is achieved purely through reducing your calorie intake. my goal was to lose four pounds per week. that worked well for the first few months but then things got tricky.
Loss Exercise Goal
Enlightenment is man's leaving his self-caused immaturity. immaturity is the incapacity to use one's intelligence without the guidance of another. such immaturity is self-caused if it is not caused by lack of intelligence, but by lack of determination and courage to use one's intelligence without being guided by another. sapere aude! have the courage to use your own intelligence! is therefore the motto of the enlightenment.
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