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You learn nothing about men by snubbing them and crushing their pride. you must ask them what it is they can do in this world, that they alone can do.
-Hilary Mantel
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You Learn Nothing About Men By Snubbing

Hilary Mantel
You learn nothing about men by snubbing them and crushing their pride. you must ask them what it is they can do in this world, that they alone can do.
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Crush Pride Men

More From Hilary Mantel

There's nothing you can do that can't be done nothing you can sing that can't be sung. nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. it's easy. nothing you can make that can't be made. no one you can save that can't be saved. nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time. it's easy. nothing you can know that isn't known. nothing you can see that isn't shown. nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. it's easy.
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It is pleasant to be transferred from an office where one is afraid of a sergeant-major into an office where one can intimidate generals, and perhaps this is why history is so attractive to the more timid among us. we can recover self-confidence by snubbing the dead.
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Give people pride and they'll live on bread and water, bless their exploiters, and even die for them. self-surrender is a transaction of barter: we surrender our sense of human dignity, our judgement, or moral and aesthetic sense for pride. if there is pride in being free, we are ready to die for liberty. if there is pride to be derived from an identification with a leader, we grovel in the dust before a napoléon, hitler or stalin and are ready to die for him. if there is a distinction in suffering we search for martyrdom as for hidden treasure.
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In sufi terms the crushing of the ego is called nafs kushi. and how do we crush it? we crush it by sometimes taking ourselves to task. when the self says, 'o no, i must not be treated like this,' then we say, 'what does it matter?' when the self says, 'he ought to have done this, she ought to have said that,' we say, 'what does it matter, either this way or that way? every person is what he is; you cannot change him, but you can change yourself.' that is the crushing. ... it is only in this way that we can crush our ego.
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I don't know if anyone has noticed but i only ever write about one thing: being alone. the fear of being alone, the desire to not be alone, the attempts we make to find our person, to keep our person, to convince our person to not leave us alone, the joy of being with our person and thus no longer alone, the devastation of being left alone. the need to hear the words: you are not alone.
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I'm trying to be morally responsible and no more. i don't have an agenda i'm trying to push. people talk about three days of the condor as being anti-government but the last statement in that movie is the cia guy saying to robert redford, "ask 'em when they're running out. ask 'em when there's no heat in their homes and they're cold. ask 'em when their engines stop. ask 'em when people who have never known hunger start going hungry. you want to know something? they won't want us to ask 'em. they'll just want us to get it for 'em!"
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