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You can say 'thanks,' and you can say 'thanks a million' - but any number in between?
-Demetri Martin
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You Can Say 'thanks,' And You Can

Demetri Martin
You can say 'thanks,' and you can say 'thanks a million' - but any number in between?
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Numbers Thanks Millions

More From Demetri Martin

The million, million, million ... to one chance happens once in a million, million, million ... times no matter how surprised we may be that it results in us.
May Matter Chance
You go ask any founder of any company why he or she did it, you will never hear, "i wanted to create jobs for the community" as the number one, number two, number three, number four, number five, number 10 reason for doing so. that is a result of the success the business enjoys. creating jobs is not why people start businesses. creating jobs is not how people innovate in business. it's not how they compete.
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There's a property in panama where trump has collected somewhere around $30 million just from selling his name to this property - it's somewhere between $30 million and $50 million. it would be so easy for a developer to slap on an extra $6 million to a trump licensing deal and have that be a backdoor bribe. who are we to say what that is worth? it's so ephemeral. and this is the appeal of selling something as ephemeral as a brand name, is that it can be inflated beyond all reason.
Reason Easy Selling
Things like, people saying the new album would debut at number one on the billboard charts in the u.s. and i said, "no it's gonna be number three." because number 3 is a very powerful number on the album. it's repeated quite often. then it did chart an number 3. was it a coincidence you decide. if your in touch with your subconscious, you can really use it to your advantage
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They know your name, address, telephone number, credit card numbers, who else is driving the car "for insurance", ... your driver's license number. in the state of massachusetts, this is the same number as that used for social security, unless you object to such use. in that case, you are assigned a number and you reside forever more on the list of "weird people who don't give out their social security number in massachusetts."
Life Names Numbers
The first census in 1790 asked just six questions: the name of the head of the household, the number of free white males older than 16, the number of free white males younger than 16, the number of free white females, the number of other free persons, and the number of slaves.
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Wars are no longer waged in the name of a sovereign who must be defended; they are waged on behalf of the existence of everyone; entire populations are mobilized for the purpose of wholesale slaughter in the name of life necessity: massacres have become vital.
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In every community there are little knots of fantastic extremists who loudly proclaim that they are striving for righteousness, and who, in reality, do their feeble best for unrighteousness. just as the upright politician should hold in peculiar scorn the man who makes the name of politician a reproach and a shame, so the genuine reformer should realize that the cause he champions is especially jeopardized by the mock reformer who does what he can to make reform a laughingstock among decent men.
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You may never learn the names of any of the people you talk to in a dog park, even after many, many hours spent there with them, and many hours of conversation. but if - knock on wood - anything should ever happen to your dog, these nameless non-strangers will rally, sympathize, offer to help, and hold your hand. i know this from experience.
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I remember one of my last shows, the final jeopardy! clue was something like 'these two boys' names are top 10 boys' names in the u.s., they both end with the same letter, and they're both names of jesus' apostles.' now, obviously that's not a knowable fact.
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