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While i did a lot of research, i ended up feeling that the best way to write about grief was to describe it from the inside out - the show the strange intensities that come along with it, the peculiar thoughts, the longing for that past - all the strange moments of thinking you glimpse the dead person on the street, or in your dreams.
-Meghan O'Rourke
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While I Did A Lot Of Research,

Meghan O'Rourke
While i did a lot of research, i ended up feeling that the best way to write about grief was to describe it from the inside out - the show the strange intensities that come along with it, the peculiar thoughts, the longing for that past - all the strange moments of thinking you glimpse the dead person on the street, or in your dreams.
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Dream Grief Writing

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Marriage i think for women is the best of opiates. it kills the thoughts that think about the thoughts, it is the best of opiates. so said maria. but too long in solitude she'd dwelt, and too long her thoughts had felt their strength. so when the man drew near, out popped her thoughts and covered him with fear. poor maria! better that she had kept her thoughts on a chain, for now she's alone again and all in pain; she sighs for the man that went and the thoughts that stay to trouble her dreams by night and her dreams by day.
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Your street, rich street or poor used to always be sure, on your street there's a place in your heart you know from the start can't be complete outside of the street keep moving on through the joy and the pain sometimes you got to look back to the street again would you prefer all those castles in spain? or the view of your street from your window pane?
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Grief causes you to leave yourself. you step outside your narrow little pelt. and you can’t feel grief unless you’ve had love before it - grief is the final outcome of love, because it’s love lost. […] it’s the cycle of love completed: to love, to lose, to feel grief, to leave, and then to love again. grief is the awareness that you will have to be alone, and there is nothing beyond that because being alone is the ultimate final destiny of each individual living creature. that’s what death is, the great loneliness.
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The epithet beautiful is used by surgeons to describe operations which their patients describe as ghastly, by physicists to describe methods of measurement which leave sentimentalists cold, by lawyers to describe cases which ruin all the parties to them, and by lovers to describe the objects of their infatuation, however unattractive they may appear to the unaffected spectators.
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Grief is real because loss is real. each grief has its own imprint, as distinctive and as unique as the person we lost. the pain of loss is so intense, so heartbreaking, because in loving we deeply connect with another human being, and grief is the reflection of the connection that has been lost. we think we want to avoid the grief, but really it is the pain of the loss we want to avoid. grief is the healing process that ultimately brings us comfort in our pain. copyright: elisabeth kubler-ross family limited partnership.
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I don't think grief of grief in a medical way at all. i think that i and many of my colleagues, are very concerned when grief becomes pathological, that there is no question that grief can trigger depression in vulnerable people and there is no question that depression can make grief worse.
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