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When you first get married, they open the car door for you. eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.
-Joan Rivers
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When You First Get Married, They Open

Joan Rivers
When you first get married, they open the car door for you. eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.
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Years Doors Car

More From Joan Rivers

The freeway experience ... is the only secular communion los angeles has. mere driving on the freeway is in no way the same as participating in it. anyone can "drive" on the freeway, and many people with no vocation for it do, hesitating here and resisting there, losing the rhythm of the lane change, thinking about where they came from and where they are going. actual participation requires total surrender, a concentration so intense as to seem a kind of narcosis, a rapture-of-the-freeway. the mind goes clean. the rhythm takes over.
Thinking People Mind
Let him treat you like a lady and open the car door for you. if he doesn't automatically open the door for you, stand by the darn thing and don't get into the vehicle until he realises he needs to get hid behind out of the driver's seat and come round and open the car door for you. that's his job!
Jobs Doors Car
When god gives you a door, if you want access, you go through that door. people didn't like jesus. oh, they had all kind of reasons to hate him but jesus said, "i am the door. any man who enters must come by me. if you don't come by me," he said, "you're a thief and a robber." well, if omarosa manigault is the door to donald trump, well i kind of like that door. that's a pretty door. that's an intelligent door. that's a spiritually rooted door.
Jesus Hate Intelligent
Now, everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. you got one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven. ... ok, now most guys will hit one, two, three and then go to seven and set up camp. ... you want to hit 'em all and you wanna mix 'em up. you gotta keep 'em on their toes. ... you could start out with a little one. a two. a one, two, three. a three. a five. a four. a three, two. two. a two, four, six. two, four, six. four. two. two. four, seven! five, seven! six, seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! [holds up seven fingers]
Two Guy Toes
Four. that's what i want you to remember. if you don't get your idea across in the first four minutes, you won't do it. four sentences to a paragraph. four letters to a word. the most important words in the english language all have four letters. home. love. food. land. peace. . .i know peace has five letters, but any damn fool knows it should have four.
Home Should Have Land
I mean, eighteen years old is the age of consent in europe and you can go anywhere and do anything you like. in america, it is dumb. at eighteen you should be able to do anything that you like, except get married.
Mean Eighteen Years Old America
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