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We torment ourselves rather to make it appear that we are happy than to become so.
-Francois De La Rochefoucauld
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We Torment Ourselves Rather To Make It

Francois De La Rochefoucauld
We torment ourselves rather to make it appear that we are happy than to become so.
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Happiness Joy Torment

More From Francois De La Rochefoucauld

So often, we blame other people when, really, the problem is right down in here. i'm not happy. i don't know what's wrong. if i just had another job, i could be happy. if i just get married, i would be happy. well if i just wasn't married, i would be happy. well, if i just had some kids, i'll be happy. i'll be happy when these kids finally grow up and get out of here. if i had a bigger house, i would be happy. well, i got a big house. now if i just had a maid to clean, i'd be happy. well, now if i just had a maid i could get along with better, i'd be happy.
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Appearances to the mind are of four kinds. things either are what they appear to be; or they neither are, nor appear to be; or they are, and do not appear to be; or they are not, and yet appear to be. rightly to aim in all these cases is the wise man's task.
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Oh god, are there so many of them in our land! students who can’t be happy until they’ve graduated, servicemen who can’t be happy until they are discharged, single folks who can’t be happy until they’ve found a mate, workers who can’t be happy until they’ve retired, adolescents who aren’t happy until they’re grown, ill people who aren’t happy until they’re well, failures who aren’t happy until they succeed, restless who can’t wait until they get out of town, and in most cases, vice versa, people waiting, waiting for the world to begin.
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Our god...is a consuming fire. and if we, by love, become transformed into him and burn as he burns, his fire will be our everlasting joy. but if we refuse his love and remain in the coldness of sin and opposition to him and to other men then will his fire (by our own choice rather than his) become our everlasting enemy, and love, instead of being our joy, will become our torment and our destruction.
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Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. it would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. the robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.
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If the book we are reading does not wake us, as with a fist hammering on our skull, why then do we read? so that it shall make us happy? good god, we should also be happy if we had no books, and such books as make us happy we could, if need be, write ourselves. but what we must have are those books which come upon us like ill fortune, and distress us deeply, like the death of one we love better than ourselves; like suicide. a book must be an ice-axe to break the sea frozen inside us.
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Happiness is normally the prime search of every rational human being. one way to derive increasing happiness during the year we have just entered is to strive diligently to promote the happiness of others, to think of them first, yourself second. happiness is the greatest tonic, the greatest elixir, of all. worry is among the worst poisons. one sensible new year resolution: i will do my utmost to have consideration for others, to exercise usefulness, to radiate happiness, to conquer worrying over things i cannot possibly remedy.
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* if someone loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows, in all the millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars.
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Happiness is often presented as being very dull but, he thought, lying awake, that is because dull people are sometimes very happy and intelligent people can and do go around making themselves and everyone else miserable. he had never found happiness dull. it always seemed more exciting than any other thing and capable of as great intensity as sorrow to those people who were capable of having it.
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