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This is the hard part about having best friends that i feel no attachment to -- i don't give them any benefit of the doubt. and being best friends is always about the benefit of the doubt.
-David Levithan
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This Is The Hard Part About Having

David Levithan
This is the hard part about having best friends that i feel no attachment to -- i don't give them any benefit of the doubt. and being best friends is always about the benefit of the doubt.
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Topic
Attachment Giving Doubt

More From David Levithan

When the only bond between close friends is attachment, then even a minor issue may cause one's projections to change. as soon as our projections change, the attachment disappears, because that attachment was based solely on projection and expectation. it is possible to have compassion without attachment, and similarly, to have anger without hatred.
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The near enemy of love is attachment. attachment masquerades as love. it says, “i will love this person because i need them.” or, “i’ll love you if you’ll love me back. i’ll love you, but only if you will be the way i want.” this isn’t love at all - it is attachment - and attachment is rigid, it is very different from love.
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When attachment arises in the place of love, it sees the other as separate; it grasps and needs. attachment is conditional; it seeks control and it fear loss. ask your heart if attachment has replaced love. if we speak to our heart, it will always tell us the truth.
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Hatred, jealousy and excessive attachment cause suffering and agitation. i feel compassion can help us overcome these disturbances and let us return to a calm state of mind. compassion is not just being kind to your friend. that involves attachment because it is based on expectation. compassion is when you do something good without any expectations - based on realizing that "the other person is also just like me".
Jealousy Buddhist Kindness
So when somebody asks me to make a decision about a situation, i don't offer a solution, i ask a question: what are our options? give me the good, give me the bad, give me the pretty, give me the ugly, give me the impossible, give me the possible, give me the convenient, give me the inconvenient. give me the options. all i want are options. and once i have all the options before me, then i comfortably and confidently make my decision.
Giving Decision Ugly
The compassion we feel normally is biased and mixed with attachment. genuine compassion flows towards all living beings, particularly your enemies. if i try to develop compassion towards my enemy, it may not benefit him directly, he may not even be aware of it. but it will immediately benefit me by calming my mind. on the other hand, if i dwell on how awful everything is, i immediately lose my peace of mind.
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