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The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. the one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.

-Thomas Merton

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The More You Try To Avoid Suffering,

Thomas Merton

The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. the one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. the one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most."</p>
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Wisdom Hurt Insignificant Things

More From Thomas Merton

Life's very difficult and full of surprises. at all events, i've got as far as that. to be humble and kind, to go straight ahead, to love people rather than pity them, to remember the submerged - well, one can't do all these things at once, worse luck, because they're so contradictory. it's then that proportion comes in - to live by proportion. don't begin with proportion. only prigs do that. let proportion come in as a last resource, when the better things have failed.

We fear the past, present and future. we fear the unknown, we fear not having enough, losing what we have, not having what we want. we fear what will become of us and those that we care for. we fear what others think of us and what they don't think of us. we fear, fear, fear and therefore we are controllable through the manipulation of all that we fear. the present war on terror is the war of fear. no fear, no control.

There is really no reason to suffer. the only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. if you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason to suffer you will not find. the same is true for happiness. the only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.

It is said that the fear of public speaking is a fear greater than death for most people. according to psychiatrists, the fear of public speaking is caused by the fear of ostracism, the fear of standing out, the fear of criticism, the fear of ridicule, the fear of being an outcast. the fear of being different prevents most people from seeking new ways to solve their problems.

Fear is at the root of so many of the barriers that women face. fear of not being liked. fear of making the wrong choice. fear of drawing negative attention. fear of overreaching. fear of being judged. fear of failure. and the holy trinity of fear: the fear of being a bad mother/wife/daughter.

There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. it's like watching paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction--every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it's really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour.

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