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Sometimes the crowd is the madness - at others it's the absence of the crowd that is.
-Will Self
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Sometimes The Crowd Is The Madness -

Will Self
Sometimes the crowd is the madness - at others it's the absence of the crowd that is.
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Crowds Madness Sometimes

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I've come to the conclusion that athletes, when they say they miss the crowd, are not missing the sound of the crowd. what they're missing is the feeling inside that makes the crowd roar. it's not the roar of the crowd, it's the silence inside.
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You don't know what a rough crowd is. if all i have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. let me tell you what a tough crowd is. a tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. that's a tough crowd.
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The indian danced on alone. the crowd clapped up the beat. the indian danced with a chair. the crowd went crazy. the band faded. the crowd cheered. the indian held up his hands for silence as if to make a speech. looking at the band and then the crowd, the indian said, "well, what're you waiting for? let's dance.
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People get sick and sometimes they get better and sometimes they don't. and it doesn't matter if the sickness is cancer or if it's depression. sometimes the drugs work and sometimes they don't. sometimes the drugs work for a while and then they stop. sometimes the alternative stuff works and sometimes it doesn't. and sometimes you wonder if no outside interference makes any difference at all; if an illness is like a storm, if it simply has to run its course and, at the end of it, depending on how robust you are, you will be alive. or you will be dead.
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It is madness. and if you don't know who you are, or if your real self has drifted away from you with the undertow, madness at least gives you an identity. it's the same with self-loathing. you're probably just normal and normal-looking but that's not a real identity, not the way ugliness is. normality, just accepting that you're probably normal-looking, lacks the force field of self-disgust. if you don't know who you are, madness gives you something to believe in.
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