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Shoes off in the whale! and don't try and make a break for the anus.
-Christopher Moore
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Shoes Off In The Whale! And Don't

Christopher Moore
Shoes off in the whale! and don't try and make a break for the anus.
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Whales Shoes Trying

More From Christopher Moore

It was a real whale, a photograph of a real whale. i looked into its tiny wise eye and wondered where that eye was now. was it alive and swimming, or had it died long ago, or was it dying now, right this second? when a whale dies, it falls down through the ocean slowly, over the course of a day. all the other fish see it fall, like a giant statue, like a building, but slowly, slowly.
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How fishy on the fishiness scale? ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark." "a whale isn't a fish, thursday." "a whale shark is--sort of." "all right, it's as fishy as a crayfish." "a crayfish isn't a fish." "a starfish, then." "still not a fish." "this is a very odd conversation, thursday.
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I have a tattoo on my foot that says 'it's a whale' in japanese, because japanese people kill whales. my stuffed whale was like most children's teddy bear. i took it with me everywhere. i slept with it. i couldn't live without my whale.
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The story of the whale swallowing jonah, though a whale is large enough to do it, borders greatly on the marvelous; but it would have approached nearer to the idea of a miracle if jonah had swallowed the whale.
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In my culture, shoes are more or less the first thing women look at. women look at the build, and then they look at the shoes. if you don't have nice shoes, you don't have money. when i meet a lawyer, the first thing i look at are his shoes. if he has good shoes, he's getting my money.
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Things break all the time. glass and dishes and fingernails. cars and contracts and potato chips. you can break a record, a horse, a dollar. you can break the ice. there are coffee breaks and lunch breaks and prison breaks. day breaks, waves break, voices break. chains can be broken. so can silence, and fever... promises break. hearts break.
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