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She felt herself needing more and more sleep. when she awoke in the morning, she thought of when she might lie down again - and when she would sleep. she started going to the movies.
-Susan Sontag
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She Felt Herself Needing More And More

Susan Sontag
She felt herself needing more and more sleep. when she awoke in the morning, she thought of when she might lie down again - and when she would sleep. she started going to the movies.
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Morning Lying Sleep

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I wept in my dreams. i dreamed you lay in the grave; i awoke, and the tears still poured down my cheeks. i wept in my dreams, i dreamed you had left me; i awoke and i went on weeping long and bitterly. i wept in my dreams, i dreamed you were still kind to me; i awoke, and still the flow of my tears streams on.
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Strip back the beliefs pasted on by governesses, schools, and states, you find indelible truths at one's core. rome'll decline and fall again, cortés'll lay tenochtitlán to waste again, and later, ewing will sail again, adrian'll be blown to pieces again, you and i'll sleep under the corsican stars again, i'll come to bruges again, fall in and out of love with eva again, you'll read this letter again, the sun'll grow cold again. nietzsche's gramophone record. when it ends, the old one plays it again, for an eternity of eternities.
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One night a friend lent me a book of short stories by franz kafka. i went back to the pension where i was staying and began to read the metamorphosis. the first line almost knocked me off the bed. i was so surprised. the first line reads, “as gregor samsa awoke that morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. . . .” when i read the line i thought to myself that i didn’t know anyone was allowed to write things like that. if i had known, i would have started writing a long time ago. so i immediately started writing short stories.
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Well, i started out down a dirty road started out all alone and the sun went down as i crossed the hill and the town lit up, the world got still i'm learning to fly but i ain't got wings coming down is the hardest thing well, the good ol' days may not return and the rocks might melt and the sea may burn i'm learning to fly but i ain't got wings coming down is the hardest thing well, some say life will beat you down break your heart, steal your crown so i've started out for god knows where i guess i'll know when i get there i'm learning to fly around the clouds but what goes up must come down
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So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love - loving the loving of things whose existence she didn't care at all about. love itself became the object of her love. she loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving, and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for. it was not the world that was the great and saving lie, but her willingness to make it beautiful and fair, to live a once-removed life, in a world once-removed from the one in which everyone else seemed to exist.
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