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Presently i shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. that means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
-Stephen Leacock
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Presently I Shall Be Introduced As 'this

Stephen Leacock
Presently i shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. that means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
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Fall Mean Men

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This, milord, is my family's axe. we have owned it for almost nine hundred years, see. of course, sometimes it needed a new blade. and sometimes it has required a new handle, new designs on the metalwork, a little refreshing of the ornamentation . . . but is this not the nine hundred-year-old axe of my family? and because it has changed gently over time, it is still a pretty good axe, y'know. pretty good.
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Inside the snow globe on my father's desk, there was a penguin wearing a red-and-white-striped scarf. when i was little my father would pull me into his lap and reach for the snow globe. he would turn it over, letting all the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it. the two of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin. the penguin was alone in there, i thought, and i worried for him. when i told my father this, he said, "don't worry, susie; he has a nice life. he's trapped in a perfect world.
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The lyric abstrusities of auden ring mystically down the circular canals of my ear and it begins to look like snow. the good gray conservative obliterating snow. smoothing (in one white lacy euphemism after another) out all the black bleak angular unangelic nauseous ugliness of the blasted sterile world: dry buds, shrunken stone houses, dead vertical moving people all all all go under the great white beguiling wave. and come out transformed. lose yourself in a numb dumb snow-daubed lattice of crystal and come out pure with the white virginal veneer you never had.
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Violence harms the one who does it as much as the one who receives it. you could cut down a tree with an axe. the axe does violence to the tree, and escapes unharmed. is that how you see it? wood is soft compared to steel, but the sharp steel is dulled as it chops, and the sap of the tree will rust and pit it. the mighty axe does violence to the helpless tree, and is harmed by it. so it is with men, though the harm is in the spirit.
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In the bleak midwinter frosty wind made moan, earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone; snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow, in the bleak midwinter, long ago.
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Imperialism has now reached a degree of almost scientific perfection. it uses white workers to conquer the non-white workers of the colonies. then, it hurls the non-white workers of one colony against those of another non-white colony. finally, it relies on the colored workers of the colonies to rule the white workers. recently, white french soldiers near mutiny in the occupied ruhr of germany, were surrounded by french african soldiers, and colored native light-infantry were sent against white german strikers.
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