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People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'
-Dylan Moran
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People Will Kill You Over Time, And

Dylan Moran
People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'
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Encouragement People Comedian

More From Dylan Moran

A world where congressmen spend 30 to 70 percent of their time raising money from a tiny, tiny fraction of the 1% is a world where that tiny, tiny fraction has enormous power. and it's that inequality in political power that enables this corrupted system to happen.
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A guy's calling to say he's failing algebra ii. just as a point of practice, i say, kill yourself. a woman calls and says her kids won't behave. without missing a beat, i tell her, kill yourself. a man calls to say his car won't start. kill yourself. a woman calls to ask what time the late movie starts. kill yourself. she asks, "isn't this 555-1327? is this the moorehouse cineplex? i say, kill yourself. kill yourself. kill yourself.
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Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity. why would you be realistic? what's the point of being realistic? i'm going to do it. it's done. it's already done. the second i decide it's done, it's already done.
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I'm pretty good at inventing phrases - you know, the sort of words that suddenly make you jump, almost as though you'd sat on a pin, they seem so new and exciting even though they're about something hypnopaedically* obvious. but that doesn't seem enough. it's not enough for the phrases to be good; what you make with them ought to be good too.
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Perhaps the image you have of the devil is a cartoon of a man in a red suit with horns a pointy tale and a pitch fork, satan would love for you to think of him as a harmless cartoon character, but don't be fooled... satan is anything but harmless.
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You can say a lot of bad things about tiny cooper. i know, because i have said them. but for a guy who knows absolutely nothing about how to conduct his own relationships, tiny cooper is kind of brilliant when it comes to dealing with other people's heartbreak. tiny is like some gigantic sponge soaking up the pain of lost love everywhere he goes.
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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from spain.
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