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Only he knew that to be left alone is not always to be forsaken.
-George MacDonald
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Only He Knew That To Be Left

George MacDonald
Only he knew that to be left alone is not always to be forsaken.
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Left Alone Forsaken Left

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I don't know if anyone has noticed but i only ever write about one thing: being alone. the fear of being alone, the desire to not be alone, the attempts we make to find our person, to keep our person, to convince our person to not leave us alone, the joy of being with our person and thus no longer alone, the devastation of being left alone. the need to hear the words: you are not alone.
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Mrs forrester ... sat in state, pretending not to know what cakes were sent up, though she knew, and we knew, and she knew that we knew, and we knew that she knew that we knew, she had been busy all the morning making tea-bread and sponge-cakes.
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The foundation of true holiness and true christian worship is the doctrine of the gospel, what we are to believe. so when christian doctrine is neglected, forsaken, or corrupted, true holiness and worship will also be neglected, forsaken, and corrupted.
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He stepped toward her, and her heart just ached from it. his face was so handsome, and so dear, and so perfectly wonderfully familiar. she knew the slope of his cheeks, and the exact shade of his eys, brownish near the iris, melting into green at the edge. and his mouth-she knew that mouth, the look of it, the feel of it. she knew his smile, and she knew his frown, and she knew- she knew far to much.
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If a bell failed to ring, if a stove smoked, if a wheel on a machine stuck, you knew at once where to look and did so with alacrity; you found the defect and knew how to cure it. but the thing within you, the secret mainspring that alone gave meaning to life, the thing within us that alone is living, alone is capable of feeling pleasure and pain, of craving happiness and experiencing it- that was unknown. you knew nothing about that, nothing at all, and if the mainspring failed there was no cure. wasn't it insane?
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In the nineteenth year and the eleventh month speak your tattered kaddish for all suicides: praise to life though it crumbled in like a tunnel on ones we knew and loved praise to life though its windows blew shut on the breathing-room of ones we knew and loved praise to life though ones we knew and loved loved it badly, too well, and not enough praise to life though it tightened like a knot on the hearts of ones we thought we knew loved us praise to life giving room and reason to ones we knew and loved who felt unpraisable. praise to them, how they loved it, when they could.
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If suicide be supposed a crime, it is only cowardice can impel us to it. if it be no crime, both prudence and courage should engage us to rid ourselves at once of existence when it becomes a burden. it is the only way that we can then be useful to society, by setting an example which, if imitated, would preserve every one his chance for happiness in life, and would effectually free him from all danger or misery.
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Tell me, where in life is there a value that would make us consider suicide uncalled for on principle! love? or friendship? i guarantee that friendship is not a bit less fickle than love and it is impossible to build anything on it. self-love? i wish it were possible.
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