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Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly, one small sideways look and i feel so ungood. somewhere along the way i think i gave you the power to make me feel the way i thought only my father could.
-Alanis Morissette
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Oh These Little Rejections How They Add

Alanis Morissette
Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly, one small sideways look and i feel so ungood. somewhere along the way i think i gave you the power to make me feel the way i thought only my father could.
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Father Thinking Rejection

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I asked for strength, and god gave me difficulties to make me strong. i asked for wisdom, and god gave me problems to learn to solve. i asked for prosperity, and god gave me a brain and brawn to work. i asked for courage, and god gave me dangers to overcome. i asked for love, and god gave me people to help. i asked for favors, and god gave me opportunities. i received nothing i wanted. i received everything i needed.
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I used many times to touch my own chest and feel, under its asthmatic quiver, the engine of the heart and lungs and blood and feel amazed at what i sensed was the enormity of the power i possessed. not magical power, but real power. the power simply to go on, the power to endure, that is power enough, but i felt i had also the power to create, to add, to delight, to amaze and to transform.
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Only add deeds to thy knowledge answerable, add faith, add virtue, patience, temperance, add love, by name to come call'd charity, the soul of all the rest; then wilt thou not be loath to leave this paradise, but shall possess a paradise within thee, happier far.
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What you have to understand, is your father was your model for god. if you're male and you're christian and living in america, your father is your model for god. and if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about god? what you end up doing is you spend your life searching for a father and god. what you have to consider is the possibility that god doesn't like you. could be, god hates us. this is not the worst thing that can happen.
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And the rules were so clear, you could not deviate from that all. and i think it especially damaged my sisters because there was nothing they could do to get my father's attention, to win his approval. they could not play sports. they could not do these other things. they could not be tough. they could not be macho. and so i think they suffered just from sheer neglect if nothing else.
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If i lived in china or even russia, or any totalitarian country, maybe i could understand some of these illegal injunctions. ... but somewhere i read of the freedom of assembly. somewhere i read of the freedom of speech. somewhere i read of the freedom of the press. somewhere i read that the greatness of america is the right to protest for right.
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