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Oh, for christ's sake,' i hear. 'can we please just try to have a good time?' this is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. i've tried it.

-David Sedaris

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Oh, For Christ's Sake,' I Hear. 'can

David Sedaris

Oh, for christ's sake,' i hear. 'can we please just try to have a good time?' this is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. i've tried it.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"oh, for christ&amp;#039;s sake,&amp;#039; i hear. &amp;#039;can we please just try to have a good time?&amp;#039; this is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn&amp;#039;t work. i&amp;#039;ve tried it."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— David Sedaris</footer>
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Trying Sake Good Times

More From David Sedaris

Christ be with me, christ within me, christ behind me, christ before me, christ beside me, christ to win me, christ to comfort me and restore me, christ beneath me, christ above me, christ in quiet, christ in danger, christ in hearts of all that love me, christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I tried to concentrate on the angel's voice instead. "bella, please! bella, listen to me, please, please, please, bella, please!" he begged. yes, i wanted to say. anything. but i couldn't find my lips. "carlisle!" the angel called, agony in his perfect voice. "bella, bella, no, oh please, no, no!" and the angel was sobbing tearless, broken sobs. the angel shouldn't weep, it was wrong. i tried to find him, to tell him everything was fine, but the water was so deep, it was pressing on me, and i couldn't breathe.

Aside from higher considerations, charity often operates as a vastly wise and prudent principle-a great safeguard to its possessor. men have committed murder for jealousy's sake, and anger's sake, and hatred's sake, and selfishness' sake, and spiritual pride's sake; but no man that ever i heard of, ever committed a diabolical murder for sweet charity's sake. mere self-interest, then, if no better motive can be enlisted, should, especially with high-tempered men, prompt all beings to charity and philanthropy.

I've tried to be a better person... i've tried, and tried and tried! you know how hard i've tried! tell me how i've tried..." "nice try... five cents, please!

Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?

Here we are told that christ really lives in me, if i have accepted christ as my savior. in other words, we have the words of jesus to the thief of the cross, 'today thou wilt be with me in paradise.' christ can say, 'today thou wilt be with me in paradise,' and mean it. to die is to be with the lord. it is not just an idea, it is a reality. but at the same time, christ, the same christ who gives the promise just as definitely, that when i have accepted christ as my savior, he lives in me.

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How is it that you profess love for god but can't accept another human being?

Don’t concern yourself with being right in others’ eyes. and don’t secretly hope that their lives will fall apart so that your opinion will be vindicated. instead, concentrate on obeying god in your own life and, when possible, helping others to obey him as well. you don’t have to prove others wrong to continue on the course you know god has shown you.

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