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My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. devastating. i can't believe i'm only going to have sex with her one more time.
-Anthony Jeselnik
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My Girlfriend Was Just Killed In A

Anthony Jeselnik
My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. devastating. i can't believe i'm only going to have sex with her one more time.
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Girlfriend Sex Believe

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Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. for example, "my girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "my dad keeps losing his car keys." and then i just think of different ways the story could end. "my girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. i don't understand why she's crying. i'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend." then i try it out on stage. i don't do a lot of re-writing. my jokes either work or they don't. the trick is just to write a ton of jokes.
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My girlfriend is named lynn. she spells her name "lynn". my old girlfriend's name is lyn, too, but she spells it "lyn". every now and then i screw up, i call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because i don't say "n" as long.
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There's a lot of debate on this subject - about what kind of car handles best. some say a a front-engined car, some say a rear-engined car. i say a rented car. nothing handles better than a rented car. you can go faster, turn corners sharper, and put the transmission into reverse while going forward at a higher rate of speed in a rented car than in any other kind.
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Even in the era of aids, sex raises no unique moral issues at all. decisions about sex may involve considerations about honesty, concern for others, prudence, and so on, but there is nothing special about sex in this respect, for the same could be said of decisions about driving a car. (in fact, the moral issues raised by driving a car, both from an environmental and from a safety point of view, are much more serious than those raised by sex.)
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If the next car passed is blue, violet will be okay, she thought. if it's red, a will do something horrible to her. she heard a growl of an engine and shut her eyes, afraid to see what the future might hold. she'd never cared so much about anything in her life. just as the car was passing, she opened her eyes and saw a mercedes hood ornament. she let out a long sigh, tears coming to her eyes once more. the car was blue.
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