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Many grievers experience intense yearning or longing after a death - more than they experience, say, denial.
-Meghan O'Rourke
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Many Grievers Experience Intense Yearning Or Longing

Meghan O'Rourke
Many grievers experience intense yearning or longing after a death - more than they experience, say, denial.
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Denial Longing Intense

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Someone's killed 100,000 people. we're almost going, "well done! you killed 100,000 people? you must get up very early in the morning! i can't even get down the gym. your diary must look odd: 'get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death - lunch - death, death, death - afternoon tea - death, death, death - quick shower ...' "
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• eating disorders are addictions. you become addicted to a number of their effects. the two most basic and important: the pure adrenaline that kicks in when you're starving—you're high as a kite, sleepless, full of a frenetic, unstable energy—and the heightened intensity of experience that eating disorders initially induce. at first, everything tastes and smells intense, tactile experience is intense, your own drive and energy themselves are intense and focused. your sense of power is very, very intense. you are not aware, however, that you are quickly becoming addicted.
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For paradise we long. for perfection we were made...this longing is the source of the hunger and dissatisfaction that mark our lives...this longing makes our loves and friendships possible, and so very unsatisfactory. the hunger is for...nothing less than perfect communion with the...one in whom all the fragments of our scattered existence come together...we must not stifle this longing. it is a holy dissatisfaction. such dissatisfaction is not a sickness to be healed, but the seed of a promise to be fulfilled...the only death to fear is the death of settling for something less.
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There are times when personal experience keeps us from reaching the mountain top and so we let it go because the weight of it is too heavy. and sometimes the mountain top is difficult to reach with all our resources, factual and confessional, so we are just there, collectively grasping, feeling the limitations of knowledge, longing together, yearning for a way to reach that highest point. even this yearning is a way to know.
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History has often showed us the strength of the forces that are unleashed by the yearning for freedom. it moved people to overcome their fears and openly confront dictators such as in east germany and eastern europe about 22 years ago... the yearning for freedom cannot be contained by walls for long. it was this yearning that brought down the iron curtain that divided germany and europe, and indeed the world, into two blocs.
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I don't necessarily view death as something negative. death gives meaning to life. living in fear of death is living in denial. actually, it's not really living at all, because there is no life without death. it's two sides of the one. you can't pick up one side and say, i'm just going to use the 'heads' side. no. it doesn't work like that. you have to pick up both sides because nothing is promised to anyone in this world besides death.
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