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I'm closer to bob newhart than rodney dangerfield.
-Jim Gaffigan
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I'm Closer To Bob Newhart Than Rodney

Jim Gaffigan
I'm closer to bob newhart than rodney dangerfield.
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I was a big fan of rodney dangerfield. he had this hbo young comedians special and he'd always bring up new talent, and i loved that!
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I think my life has been a long, slow process of trying to move closer and closer to the spirit by moving closer and closer to the heart. the heart is what's important.
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If you look at coastlines, if you look at that them from far away, from an airplane, well, you don't see details, you see a certain complication. when you come closer, the complication becomes more local, but again continues. and come closer and closer and closer, the coastline becomes longer and longer and longer because it has more detail entering in.
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And how did little tim behave?” asked mrs cratchit, when she had rallied bob on his credulity and bob had hugged his daughter to his heart’s content. “as good as gold,” said bob, “and better. somehow he gets thoughtful, sitting by himself so much, and thinks the strangest things you ever heard. he told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon christmas day, who made lame beggars walk, and blind men see.
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There were only a few seats left in coach and bob found himself seated next to a young female fan. 'i can't believe i'm sitting next to bob dylan!' she screamed.'pinch yourself,' said bob."
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And father said, “there are no happy endings.” “right!” cried iowa bob – an odd mixture of exuberance and stoicism in his cracked voice. “death is horrible, final, and frequently premature,” coach bob declared. “so what?” my father said. “right!” cried iowa bob. “that’s the point: so what?” thus the family maxim was that an unhappy ending did not undermine a rich and energetic life. this was based on the belief that there were no happy endings.
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My father – who i know is up there right now, with a big pot of gumbo, he’s got a lemon meringue pie, he’s probably in his underwear, and he’s got a cold can of miller lite – and he’s dancing.
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My father had this mythological sense of the old new york, and he used to tell me stories about these old gangs, particularly the forty thieves in the fourth ward.
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I think i'm a better doctor than i am a husband. i give myself a good grade as a doctor, then the next best grade as a father, and the worst grade as a husband.
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And new philosophy calls all in doubt, the element of fire is quite put out; the sun is lost, and the earth, and no man's wit can well direct him where to look for it. and freely men confess that this world's spent, when in the planets, and the firmament they seek so many new; then see that this is crumbled out again to his atomies. 'tis all in pieces, all coherence gone; all just supply, and all relation: prince, subject, father, son, are things forgot.
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