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If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
-Chris Rock
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If You Can Keep Your Son Off

Chris Rock
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
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Funny Daughter Humor

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There's the south pole, said christopher robin, and i expect there's an east pole and a west pole, though people don't like talking about them.
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The famous pipe. how people reproached me for it! and yet, could you stuff my pipe? no, it's just a representation, is it not? so if i had written on my picture “this is a pipe”, i'd have been lying!
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My relationship with my daughter is gonna affect her relationship with men for the rest of her life... sometimes i'm walking with my daughter. i'm pushing her in the stroller, and sometimes i just pick her up and stare at her, and i realize, my only job in life is to keep her off the pole.
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Go miser go, for money sell your soul. trade wares for wares and trudge from pole to pole, so others may say when you are dead and gone. see what a vast estate he left his son.
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I went away and cried to the master of the universe, "what have you done to me? a mind like this i need for a son? a heart i need for a son, a soul i need for a son, compassion i want from my son, righteousness, mercy, strength to suffer and carry pain, that i want from my son, not a mind without a soul!"
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Life to me is the greatest of all games. the danger lies in treating it as a trivial game, a game to be taken lightly, and a game in which the rules don't matter much. the rules matter a great deal. the game has to be played fairly or it is no game at all. and even to win the game is not the chief end. the chief end is to win it honorably and splendidly.
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