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If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, ankh-morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.
-Terry Pratchett
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If There Were Such A Thing As

Terry Pratchett
If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, ankh-morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.
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Poets have tried to describe ankh-morpork. they have failed. perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a city with a million inhabitants and no sewers is rather robust for poets, who prefer daffodils and no wonder. so let's just say that ankh-morpork is as full of life as an old cheese on a hot day, as loud as a curse in a cathedral, as bright as an oil slick, as colourful as a bruise and as full of activity, industry, bustle and sheer exuberant busyness as a dead dog on a termite mound.
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Sergeant colon of the ankh-morpork city guard was on duty. he was guarding the brass bridge, the main link between ankh and morpork. from theft. when it came to crime prevention, sergeant colon found it safest to think big.
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Ankh-morpork! pearl of cities! this is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken ankh-morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc.
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There's a saying that all roads lead to ankh-morpork. and it's wrong. all roads lead away from ankh-morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.
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He found that he had this sudden desperate longing for the fuming, smoky streets of ankh-morpork, which was always at its best in the spring, when the gummy sheen on the turbid waters of the ankh river had a special iridescence and the eaves were full of birdsong, or at least birds coughing rhythmically
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Technically, the city of ankh-morpork is a tyranny, which is not always the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even the post of tyrant has been somewhat redefined by the incumbent, lord vetinari, as the only form of democracy that works. everyone is entitled to vote, unless disqualified by reason of age or not being lord vetinari.
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