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If brad pitt gets kristen bell, it’s like, ‘well, of course he did.’ with me, it should be, ‘oh good, a normal-looking guy got her. maybe i’ll get me a kristen bell.’ but guys hate my guts for always dating women i have no right to be with.
-Dax Shepard
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If Brad Pitt Gets Kristen Bell, It’s

Dax Shepard
If brad pitt gets kristen bell, it’s like, ‘well, of course he did.’ with me, it should be, ‘oh good, a normal-looking guy got her. maybe i’ll get me a kristen bell.’ but guys hate my guts for always dating women i have no right to be with.
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Hate Dating Guy

More From Dax Shepard

I want to have my face look like brad pitt. then i'll be with jennifer aniston and then angelina jolie. then the real brad pitt will come in, and we'll have a brad pitt face-off.
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It's definitely not true what they say about women wanting a guy with a sense of humour. what women mean is that they want a guy with a sense of humour who is really handsome. if a girl had a choice between brad pitt or me, she'd pick brad pitt. and i'm a lot funnier than he is.
Girl Mean Choices
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. i hate the way you drive my car. i hate it when you stare. i hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. i hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. i hate it, i hate the way you're always right. i hate it when you lie. i hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. i hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
Hate Lying Cutting
It's harder to be funny if you're handsome than if you're very normal-looking. it's just more relatable. you're the underdog. i mean it's funny to see people struggle, and you don't buy that brad pitt is struggling, you know that guy could be the most skill-less guy in the world, but if you look like that you will be fine for the rest of your life.
Struggle Mean Skills
It's harder to be funny if you're handsome than if you're very normal-looking. it's just more relatable. you're the underdog. i mean it's funny to see people struggle, and you don't buy that brad pitt is struggling, you know that guy could be the most skill-less guy in the world, but if you look like that you will be fine for the rest of your life.
Struggle Mean Skills
Some think guts is sprinting at the end of a race. but guts is what got you there to begin with. guts start back in the hills with 6 miles to go and you're thinking of how you can get out of this race without anyone noticing. guts begin when you still have forty minutes of torture left and you're already hurting more than you ever remember.
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