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I wish you did return my regard," he said. "more than i have ever wished anything in my life! perhaps you may yet learn to do so: i should warn you that i don't easily despair!
-Georgette Heyer
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I Wish You Did Return My Regard,"

Georgette Heyer
I wish you did return my regard," he said. "more than i have ever wished anything in my life! perhaps you may yet learn to do so: i should warn you that i don't easily despair!
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Wish Despair May

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We all know of course, that we should never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever fiddle around in any way with electrical equipment. never.
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Compared with the person who is conscious of his despair, the despairing individual who is ignorant of his despair is simply a negativity further away from the truth and deliverance. . . . yet ignorance is so far from breaking the despair or changing despair to nondespairing that it can in fact be the most dangerous form of despair. . . . an individual is furthest from being conscious of himself as spirit when he is ignorant of being in despair. but precisely this-not to be conscious of oneself as spirit-is despair, which is spiritlessness. . . .
Ignorance Negativity Individuality
An individual in despair despairs over something. . . . in despairing over something, he really despair[s] over himself, and now he wants to get rid of himself. consequently, to despair over something is still not despair proper. . . . to despair over oneself, in despair to will to be rid of oneself-this is the formula for all despair.
Individuality Despair Want
The ever increasing intensity of despair depends upon the degree of consciousness or is proportionate to this increase: the greater the degree of consciousness, the more intensive the despair. this is everywhere apparent, most clearly in despair at its maximum and minimum. the devil's despair is the most intensive despair, for the devil is sheer spirit and hence unqualified consciousness and transparency; there is no obscurity in the devil that could serve as a mitigating excuse. therefore, his despair is the most absolute defiance. . . .
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Do you have a wish?' he asked, referring to this organization, the genie foundation, which is in the business of granting sick kids one wish. 'no' i said. 'i used my wish pre-miracle.' 'what'd you do?' i sighed loudly. 'i was thirteen,' i said. 'not disney,' he said. i said nothing. 'you did not go to disney world.' i said nothing. 'hazel grace!' he shouted. 'you did not use your one dying wish to go to disney world with your parents.' 'also epcot center,' i mumbled. 'oh, my god,' augustus said. 'i can't believe i had a crush on a girl with such cliché wishes.
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You're not eating anything," said marilla sharply, eying her as if it were a serious shortcoming. anne sighed. i can't. i'm in the depths of despair. can you eat when you are in the depths of despair?" i've never been in the depths of despair, so i can't say," responded marilla. weren't you? well, did you ever try to imagine you were in the depths of despair?" no, i didn't." then i don't think you can understand what it's like. it's very uncomfortable a feeling indeed.
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