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I was hurt so deep that i made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. i never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut-terin', or about them bein' off their nut.

-Jimmy Durante

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I Was Hurt So Deep That I

Jimmy Durante

I was hurt so deep that i made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. i never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut-terin', or about them bein' off their nut.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"i was hurt so deep that i made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. i never made jokes about anybody&amp;#039;s big ears, their stut-terin&amp;#039;, or about them bein&amp;#039; off their nut."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Jimmy Durante</footer>
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More From Jimmy Durante

We was just young guys who wanted to change. we got tired of doin' this same everyday bullshit that we was doin', and we all felt like we had dreams o' bein' a big star. you know, as far as with myself, i never really took it that serious as bein' a star. i only took it that serious as bein' a emcee, which is two different things. you know what i mean?

I'm rightly tired of the pain i hear and feel, boss. i'm tired of bein on the road, lonely as a robin in the rain. not never havin no buddy to go on with or tell me where we's comin from or goin to or why. i'm tired of people bein ugly to each other. it feels like pieces of glass in my head. i'm tired of all the times i've wanted to help and couldn't. i'm tired of bein in the dark. mostly it's the pain. there's too much. if i could end it, i would. but i can't.

Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.

At least, not in this country,' she added after a moment's thought. 'in china it's a little different. once i saw a chinaman in shanghai. his ears were so big he could use them for a raincoat. when it rained, he just crept in under his ears and was warm and snug as could be. not that the ears had such a rattling good time of it, you understand. if it was specially bad weather, he'd invite friends and acquaintances to pitch camp under his ears too. there they sat, singing their sorrowful songs while it poured down outside.

Trump, no matter what anybody thinks of him, is interesting. and trump, no matter what anybody thinks of him, is funny. trump, no matter what anybody thinks of him, is different. trump, no matter what anybody thinks of him, is drama. trump, no matter what anybody thinks of him, is unpredictable. all of that means, you can't miss it.

I learned all those jokes in second grade. second grade is really where they tell you those horrific jokes, racist jokes and misogynistic jokes that you have no idea what they mean, and you just memorize them because they have a very strong effect, they make people laugh in this kind of nervous, horrible way, and it's only later that you realize that you've got a head full of crap.

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