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I was a soccer cheerleader. it doesn't get nerdier than that. i was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which i believe to this day is unprecedented. you have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. in fact, i believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.
-Kathy Griffin
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I Was A Soccer Cheerleader. It Doesn't

Kathy Griffin
I was a soccer cheerleader. it doesn't get nerdier than that. i was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which i believe to this day is unprecedented. you have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. in fact, i believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.
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Soccer Cheerleading Team

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This is a devastating problem, is, the longer our children are in school, the worse they do. year after year after year, our children in america are falling further behind. our 3- and 4-year-olds enter kindergarten ok, and they fall further and further behind. each year, children in other countries are learning more than children in this country. and so the gap between american student performance in singapore and finland and south korea and canada and these other countries, the gap widens year after year after year.
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She said, “i’m going to have you fired.” i had two people say that to me today, “i’m going to have you fired.” go ahead, be my guest. i’m wearing a green velvet costume; it doesn’t get any worse than this. who do these people think they are? i’m going to have you fired!” and i wanted to lean over and say, “i’m going to have you killed.
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I'll show up at every classroom open house and teacher conference,' she said, now in a voice that was almost frightening in its intensity. 'i'll bake brownies. my child will have new clothes. her shoes will fit. she'll get her shots, and she'll get her braces. we'll start a college fund next week. i'll tell her i love her every damn day.' if that wasn't a great plan for being a good mother, i couldn't imagine what a better one could be
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While leo fussed over his helm controls, hazel and frank relayed the story of the fish-centaurs and their training camp. 'incredible,' jason said. 'these are really good brownies.' 'that's your only comment?' piper demanded. he looked surprised. 'what? i heard the story. fish-centaurs. merpeople. letter of intro to the tiber river god. got it. but these brownies--' 'i know,' frank said, his mouth full. 'try them with ester's peach preserves.' 'that,' hazel said, 'is incredibly disgusting.' 'pass me the jar, man,' jason said. hazel and piper exchanged a look of total exasperation. boys.
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