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I used to be jealous; i'm not jealous anymore. and a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. and i actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - i cured it with mathematics. and i'm not a math person at all, but i've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, i'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. so, the way i figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - i'm still winning.
-Marc Maron
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I Used To Be Jealous; I'm Not

Marc Maron
I used to be jealous; i'm not jealous anymore. and a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. and i actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - i cured it with mathematics. and i'm not a math person at all, but i've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, i'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. so, the way i figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - i'm still winning.
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Funny Sex Cancer

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Now, everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. you got one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven. ... ok, now most guys will hit one, two, three and then go to seven and set up camp. ... you want to hit 'em all and you wanna mix 'em up. you gotta keep 'em on their toes. ... you could start out with a little one. a two. a one, two, three. a three. a five. a four. a three, two. two. a two, four, six. two, four, six. four. two. two. four, seven! five, seven! six, seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! seven! [holds up seven fingers]
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She smiled. she knew she was dying. but it did not matter any longer. she had known something which no human words could ever tell and she knew it now. she had been awaiting it and she felt it, as if it had been, as if she had lived it. life had been, if only because she had known it could be, and she felt it now as a hymn without sound, deep under the little whole that dripped red drops into the snow, deeper than that from which the red drops came. a moment or an eternity- did it matter? life, undefeated, existed and could exist. she smiled, her last smile, to so much that had been possible.
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