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I think sometimes we look at other people's marriages and we think they must always be so happy together. i don't know anybody who's married for a long time who hasn't somehow made room in their love story for the hate and resentment that they sometimes feel toward each other.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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I Think Sometimes We Look At Other

Elizabeth Gilbert

I think sometimes we look at other people's marriages and we think they must always be so happy together. i don't know anybody who's married for a long time who hasn't somehow made room in their love story for the hate and resentment that they sometimes feel toward each other.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"i think sometimes we look at other people&amp;#039;s marriages and we think they must always be so happy together. i don&amp;#039;t know anybody who&amp;#039;s married for a long time who hasn&amp;#039;t somehow made room in their love story for the hate and resentment that they sometimes feel toward each other."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Elizabeth Gilbert</footer>
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Topic

Hate Thinking Long

More From Elizabeth Gilbert

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. i hate the way you drive my car. i hate it when you stare. i hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. i hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. i hate it, i hate the way you're always right. i hate it when you lie. i hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. i hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. but mostly i hate the way i don't hate you. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

So often, we blame other people when, really, the problem is right down in here. i'm not happy. i don't know what's wrong. if i just had another job, i could be happy. if i just get married, i would be happy. well if i just wasn't married, i would be happy. well, if i just had some kids, i'll be happy. i'll be happy when these kids finally grow up and get out of here. if i had a bigger house, i would be happy. well, i got a big house. now if i just had a maid to clean, i'd be happy. well, now if i just had a maid i could get along with better, i'd be happy.

The left's propulsion is hate, and they have to have an outlet for the hate. they hate so much. they hate many elements of america. they hate people that don't think the way they do. it's not just that they disagree, they hate, and this energy requires action. people on the right, they don't hate anybody. we want everybody to get along, when you get right down to it. we're rodney king types, actually.

Marriage is a pretty amazing thing when you think about it. for two people to live together for so long under the same roof is a big accomplishment. fifty-year anniversaries are becoming extinct, yet again proving that long marriages deserve awards and praise. sometimes i see old people in restaurants sitting together eating their meals and i watch them. sometimes it makes me sad. they don't even talk. is it because they have nothing else to say, or can they simply read each other's mind by now?

One of the remarkable qualities of the story is that it creates space. we can dwell in a story, walk around, find our own place. the story confronts but does not oppress; the story inspires but does not manipulate. the story invites us to an encounter, a dialogue, a mutual sharing. as long as we have stories to tell to each other there is hope. as long as we can remind each other of the lives of men and women in whom the love of god becomes manifest, there is reason to move forward to new land in which new stories are hidden.

Resentment and gratitude cannot coexist, since resentment blocks the perception and experience of life as a gift. my resentment tells me that i don't receive what i deserve. it always manifests itself in envy.

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