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I really think i shall commence chapter forty-four," he said, patting his hands together. "i shall commence, i think, with a slight exaggeration and go on from there into an outright lie. constance, my dear?" "yes, uncle julian?" "i am going to say that my wife was a beautiful woman.
-Shirley Jackson
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I Really Think I Shall Commence Chapter

Shirley Jackson
I really think i shall commence chapter forty-four," he said, patting his hands together. "i shall commence, i think, with a slight exaggeration and go on from there into an outright lie. constance, my dear?" "yes, uncle julian?" "i am going to say that my wife was a beautiful woman.
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Beautiful Uncles Lying

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You okay? (grace) oh, yeah. i’m just fine considering the fact i’ve walked through burning fires that hurt less than my groin does right now. (julian) i said i was sorry. okay, can you reach the pedals? (grace) i’d like to reach your pedals…(julian) julian! would you concentrate? (grace) all right. i’m concentrating. (julian) i don’t mean on my breasts. (he dropped his hungry gaze to her lap.) or there, either. (grace)
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Find a way to say yes to things. say yes to invitations to a new country, say yes to meet new friends, say yes to learning a new language, picking up a new sport. yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse, and even your kids. even if it's a bit edgy, a bit out of your comfort zone, saying yes means that you will do something new, meet someone new, and make a difference in your life. yes lets you stand out in a crowd, be the optimist, to stay positive, be the one everyone comes to. yes is what keeps us all young.
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My name is mary katherine blackwood. i am eighteen years old, and i live with my sister constance. i have often thought that with any luck at all, i could have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both my hands are the same length, but i have had to be content with what i had. i dislike washing myself, and dogs, and noise. i like my sister constance, and richard plantagenet, and amanita phalloides, the death-cup mushroom. everyone else in our family is dead.
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Dad told uncle seth not to screw things up,” she informed me as we washed our hands. “he said even if uncle seth is famous, him getting a woman like you defies belief.” i laughed and smoothed down the skirt of my dress. “i don’t know about that. i don’t think your dad gives your uncle enough credit." brandy gave me a sage look, worthy of someone much older. “uncle seth spent last valentine’s day at a library.
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Because i have no boobs. my ears stand out, and i have freckles all over me. (grace) boobs? (julian) breasts. (grace) you have very nice breasts. (julian) thanks. what about you? (grace) i have no breasts. (julian)
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And now i am eking out my days in my corner, taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolations that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything; that only a fool can become something. yes, sir, an intelligent nineteenth-century man must be, is morally bound to be, an essentially characterless creature; and a man of character, a man of action - an essentially limited creature. this is my conviction at the age of forty. i am forty now, and forty years - why, it is all of a lifetime, it is the deepest of old age. living past forty is indecent, vulgar, immoral!
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