Background Image
I never have free time, i don't know about you. you ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "forget it! i'm not standing here for 40 seconds. i got things to do, okay?"
-Jim Gaffigan
Please Wait....
Translating....

I Never Have Free Time, I Don't

Jim Gaffigan
I never have free time, i don't know about you. you ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "forget it! i'm not standing here for 40 seconds. i got things to do, okay?"
Views: 2
Cite this Page
Prevent plagiarism by providing proper attribution.
APA FORMAT
Embed this Quote
Copy this HTML code to embed the quote on your website or blog.
HTML CODE
Topic
Funny Humor Two

More From Jim Gaffigan

We all know of course, that we should never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever fiddle around in any way with electrical equipment. never.
Way Should Equipment
Folks can't carry around money in their pocket. they've got to go to an atm machine, and they've got to pay a few dollars to get their own dollars out of the machine. who ever thought you'd pay cash to get cash? that's where we've gotten to.
Pockets Dollars Machines
I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but i’m certainly not the dumbest. i mean, i’ve read books like "the unbearable lightness of being" and "love in the time of cholera", and i think i’ve understood them. they’re about girls, right? just kidding. but i have to say my all-time favorite book is johnny cash’s autobiography "cash" by johnny cash.
Girl Book Mean
Why, just a couple of economic seasons ago, was idle cash considered an indication of bad management or lazy management? because it meant that management didn't have this money out at work ... now look. presto! a new fashion! cash is back in! denigrating liquidity has dropped quicker than hemlines. a management is now saluted if it has some cash, some liquidity, doesn't have to go to the money market at huge interest rates to get the wherewithal to keep going and growing. along with ben franklin, my father and your father would understand and applaud this new economic fashion.
Fashion Money Couple
Remember that the machine is there to help you, because at the end of the day, you're not playing freestyle chess, advanced chess, human-plus-machine. if you are playing against other humans, it's about winning the game. the machine will not be assisting you, unless you are cheating of course. and since the machine is not there, you have to make sure that everything you learn from the computer will not badly affect the way you play the real game.
Cheating Real Winning
If the white man wants to live in peace with the indian, he can live in peace. treat all men alike. give them all the same law. give them all an even chance to live and grow. all men were made by the same great spirit chief. they are all brothers. the earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it. let me be a free man, free to travel, free to stop, free to work, free to trade where i choose, free to choose my own teachers, free to follow the religion of my fathers, free to think and talk and act for myself, and i will obey every law, or submit to the penalty.
Mother Teacher Brother
Similar Quotes
I thought of all the magazine article i'd read on mothers who worked and constantly felt guilty about leaving their children with someone else. i had trained myself to read pieces like that and silently say to myself, 'see how lucky you are?' but it had been gnawing at the inside, that part that didn't fit, that i never let myself even think about. after all, wasn't it a worse kind of guilt to be with your child and to know that you wanted to be anywhere but there?
Mother Children Thinking
Like, my mother would have company over, and i would sing so they'd pay attention to me.
Mother Attention Pay
Nature eventually has her own way, so perhaps the best procedure is to accept what old mother nature or god, if you will, dictates. accept it and you'll get along better.
Mother Nature Way
As a child i knew almost nothing, nothing beyond what i had picked up in my grandmother's house. all children, i suppose, come into the world like that, not knowing who they are.
Children Grandmother Ghouls

Trending Author

Kate Atkinson
Kate Atkinson
Anthony Kiedis
Anthony Kiedis
Freddy Adu
Freddy Adu
Kevin Nealon
Kevin Nealon
Robbie Fowler
Robbie Fowler
Charles Darwin
Charles Darwin
Category
Information
Inspirational
Philosophy
Personal Growth
Happiness & Joy
Life Lessons
Success & Business
Motivation