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I'm not trying to imply i can keep up this silent, isolated facade all the time. sometimes the wall i've erected around me comes crumbling down. it doesn't happen very often, but sometimes, before i even realize what's going on, there i am--naked and defenseless and totally confused. at times like that i always feel an omen calling out to me, like a dark, omnipresent pool of water. ~page 10
-Haruki Murakami
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I'm Not Trying To Imply I Can

Haruki Murakami
I'm not trying to imply i can keep up this silent, isolated facade all the time. sometimes the wall i've erected around me comes crumbling down. it doesn't happen very often, but sometimes, before i even realize what's going on, there i am--naked and defenseless and totally confused. at times like that i always feel an omen calling out to me, like a dark, omnipresent pool of water. ~page 10
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Wall Confused Dark

More From Haruki Murakami

A man or a woman is said to be absorbed when the water has total control of him, and he no control of the water. a swimmer moves around willfully. an absorbed being has no will but the water's going. any word or act is not really personal, but the way the water has of speaking or doing. as when you hear a voice coming out of a wall, and you know that it's not the wall talking, but someone inside, or perhaps someone outside echoing off the wall. saints are like that. they've achieved the condition of a wall, or a door.
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It's the pool where we all go down to drink, to swim, to catch a little fish from the edge of the shore; it's also the pool where some hardy souls go out in their flimsy wooden boats after the big ones. it is the pool of life, the cup of imagination, and she has an idea that different people see different versions of it, but with two things ever in common: it's always about a mile deep in the fairy forest, and it's always sad. because imagination isn't the only thing this place is about.
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Just as uncle tom, back during slavery used to keep the negroes from resisting the bloodhound or resisting the ku klux klan by teaching them to love their enemies or pray for those who use them despitefully, today martin luther king is just a twentieth-century or modern uncle tom or religious uncle tom, who is doing the same thing today to keep negroes defenseless in the face of attack that uncle tom did on the plantation to keep those negroes defenseless in the face of the attack of the klan in that day.
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The bluebells made such a pool that the earth had become like water, and all the trees and bushes seemed to have grown out of the water. and the sky above seemed to have fallen down on to the earth floor; and i didn’t know if the sky was the earth or the earth was water. i had been turned upside down. i had to hold the rock with my fingernails to stop me falling into the sky of the earth or the water of the sky. but i couldn’t hold on.
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I exist. it's sweet, so sweet, so slow. and light: you'd think it floated all by itself. it stirs. it brushes by me, melts and vanishes. gently, gently. there is bubbling water in my mouth. i swallow. it slides down my throat, it caresses me — and now it comes up again into my mouth. for ever i shall have a little pool of whitish water in my mouth - lying low - grazing my tongue. and this pool is still me. and the tongue. and the throat is me.
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Take almost any path you please, and ten to one it carries you down in a dale, and leaves you there by a pool in the stream. there is magic in it. let the most absent-minded of men be plunged in his deepest reveries--stand that man on his legs, set his feet a-going, and he will infallibly lead you to water, if water there be in all that region. should you ever be athirst in the great american desert, try this experiment, if your caravan happen to be supplied with a metaphysical professor. yes, as every one knows, meditation and water are wedded for ever.
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